Eggstravaganza or How Not to Decorate Eggs While on Valium

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Well, I did it – I got my Easter eggs decorated – this year due to the shoulder injury I didn’t do any fancy decorative painting – these are mostly decoupaged. A couple turned out nice; a couple are adequate, at least one is bizarre, and I just flippin’ threw two of them right in the trash.   But it’s amazing I got them done at all!  I had a little trouble getting started as you can see by the photo below — I think I needed a little less Valium and a little more coffee! Yes the eyes are closed – I use the innovative Braille method of Easter egg painting.  Very cutting edge technology…

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I’m afraid from here it got worse…

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And then, unfortunately the 10 mg of Valium sent my head into the paint tray – Do Not Try This At Home.

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While I turpentined the paint off my face,  Devoted Spouse took a couple pics of my workspace so you can see I actually did have egg decorating on the agenda. (Yes, that is an Ohio State glass)

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Did I mention I found my paints AFTER I replaced many of them?  Gah…

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I made it to the finishing point – below is a pic of the eggs I completed by themselves.  Sorry for resolution – I definitely need a sharper camera.

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And here they are in their little Easter basket.

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Did I mention I’m egghausted?  If I see another bottle of paint I will scream.  At least this year EmmaLou was kept out of the dining room (much to her dismay) and not a drop of paint or varnish was spilled (except all over me).  I do not need to enjoy this crafting put myself through this grief for another year.  No eggs were harmed in the filming of this blog.

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19 thoughts on “Eggstravaganza or How Not to Decorate Eggs While on Valium

  1. Are those wooden craft eggs? Which one is bizarre? They all look fantastic to me.

    The problem could have been the beer in the Ohio State glass in combo with the Valium. Though it is the breakfast of champions I don’t recommend it while painting. LOL!
    Hey that was Diet Root Beer I’ll have you know! Otherwise it would have been Rolling Rock in a green bottle. LOl The bizarre one is in the basket on the far right side – it had little purple flowers on it, but when I was done they looked more like little alien things so it may also be relegated to the dumpster.

  2. I’m with Michele – they all look pretty damn good to me!

    We’ll be doing real eggs this weekend, because I want to; The Young One will probably mope and whine in all of his 14-year-old glory. But, damn it, it’s the first Easter he’s been at home in 4 years, and if he wants that chocolate bunny (and he does) he’s bigod going to decorate some eggs with his menopausal mother.
    I love doing real eggs but then I have to eat all of them because Devoted Spouse hates eggs. So I gave that up — many years ago a great aunt taught me how to blow out real eggs and then decorate them and she was really very artistic and talented — me? I just thought blowing out the egg part was too gross so I gave up! ROFL

  3. OMG
    I once saw someone do that on a subway here in the Bronx. I suspect he was on heroin.
    OMG! How much valium were you on and…
    can you give me some of that?
    Why would anyone decorate Easter eggs on the subway…

  4. You are too funny. And the eggs are beautiful! Happy Easter!
    Thanks – it was fun. Happy Easter to you too – I’m so glad it’s Spring (sort of…we’re getting snow here tomorrow – ick).

  5. That’s impressive. I couldn’t do that ever. And with valium, well, why do I see paint all over my forehead and smashed eggs by my elbows?
    🙂
    Ah yes, that’s why one always uses wooden eggs…

  6. O.k. first of all, I can’t stop laughing at your response to Auntie. LOL That was great!!

    Second…..WTFork? If you call those “adequate” or “bizarre” then I can never take of picture of my beautiful (plastic) eggs that I….uhm……didn’t decorate. YOU are the WOMAN!!!
    I had so much fun!

  7. I’m with everyone else, those eggs are dadgum amazing even though you were Valium impaired! I have never decoupaged anything before but I think you did great.
    It was alot of fun!

  8. I completely agree with everyone else who commented on this post, your eggs are really beautiful.

    The third picture of you with your head in the paint tray is usually how I look at my desk 9am most monday mornings.

    Wishing you and your family a lovely Easter.
    Thanks sweetie and a lovely Easter to you and yours also.

  9. I’m with the others the eggs look eggstremely lovely. I don’t even dye eggs any more but DH and I do love hard boiled eggs. There are so many uses for them, egg salad, potato salad, as a topping on curry, deviled eggs–oh, haven’t made those in a while…

    ….hmmmm, I should boil some eggs.
    I love them but Devoted Spouse won’t eat eggs so I only decorate wooden ones!

  10. Granted, you had to take a nap to finish the eggs but they are awesome. What kind of paints did you use? Very funny post. Thanks for the laugh.
    I use acrylic paints on wooden eggs – and there’s nothing wrong with a nap here and there while the paints dry…LOL

  11. I was laughing so much because that (minus the paints) happens to me so much. I take the pain pill, muscle relaxer, and Ambien before going to bed. Then every few days I wake up about an hour or two later and then I can do just about anything in the house. Sometimes I clean and other times I turn on the TV and make toast. But lately I get out my laptop and put it on the bed. I go to my e-mail and delete the junk mail, and I visit websites. In about a half hour I start nodding off again, and if I am in the middle of making a comment I can fall asleep for I am not sure how long, but then I nod awake again, look down and I will have a page full of one letterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, it looks like this but can be hundreds of that same letter. So I have to delete that if I am able, either I try to finish the comment or I just close up the laptop and put it on the floor, or scoot it to the other side of the bed, then I zonker out. A few times I have gotten back up a few hours later and started it all over again. A couple of times I have even fallen asleep on the throne. Now that one is funny. How I stay on there is beyond me. Anyway just wanted you to know you are not alone.

    By the way those eggs are so beautiful, youngest granddaughter liked them so much. Even on my best day, wide awake or not, I would never be able to do anything like that. I stopped doing real eggs or any eggs cause no kids here to get them. Even when they were here I had to throw so many eggs away. But what is really sad is when they would not find one egg until a few weeks later. Holding nose here.

    Hope your doctor’s appt goes well. Got my fingers crossed.

    God bless.
    My friend you and I are so much alike and you always make me smile! I had fun with the eggs and the pictures were staged – I wasn’t that drugged out truly – just having a bit of fun. I did have some difficulty with the eggs because my hand isn’t quite strong enough yet and yes, I had taken a very small dosage of valium that morning but I wasn’t impaired – just silly! I’ll be doing a post Wed on the Doctor’s appointment – tune in then. Take care sweetie!

  12. OMG I am STILL laughing from this! It was awesome! 🙂
    It was alot of fun – and Gawd knows I needed some fun in my life after all this injury nonsense! Better days ahead! Glad you got a giggle. Hugs!

  13. Great post:: Posted your blog on my facebook page as blog of the day…

    Might check out :: http://snowbrush.blogspot.com/

    Just had his shoulder operated on demerol and percocet having same affect on him
    What is with all the injuries -2009 has just been a horrid year so far. Love demerol but vicodin gives me hallucinations so I have to settle for percocet to which I’ve now built up a tolerance and it no longer works. Oh well. Thank goodness for valium to keep me calm… Now I have to find you on Facebook – what a nice gesture for you to do that for me. Thanks so much for visiting and come back often! Didn’t recognize you as one of our new Twittter SA players! Silly me. Cheers!

  14. You have a bum shoulder and can paint & decorate like that and I can’t draw a smiley face on a plastic egg with a sharpie. No fair!!!!!
    You do have the remarkable ability to make me laugh until I have to pee.
    I simply cannot wait to tell my Pastor that I’ve discovered I have yet another spiritual gift and can make people pee at will. He will be so proud of me…

  15. Not that I’m impressed a lot, but this is a lot more than I expected for when I found a link on Furl telling that the info here is awesome. Thanks.
    Not quite sure what to make of your comment so I’m going to take it as a compliment – I only try and make folks smile and have a little laugh – not impressive stuff here. But thanks for visiting and come back any time!

  16. I can’t help imagining Devoted (but hysterical) Spouse snapping the progressive down spiral into paint pot. He could have stopped it at any time. The DS definitely knows a Kodak moment when he sees it. PRICELESS.
    It was really just a joke – I wasn’t quite that drugged up – we did have so much fun with it though! Glad you enjoyed – thanks for visiting I will return the favor shortly. Cheers!

  17. Wow, those are beautiful eggs! You’re quite the artistic one, aren’t you? I had no idea … but then how would I? Now I do. Happy Easter!
    Thank you for the kind compliment but they aren’t that good – you should have seen what I used to do when I was really into decorative painting. Oh well…never enough time!

  18. Pingback: Crafting Pay it Forward…or Are You in For a Surprise! « Crone and Bear It

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