Here’s a fun and entertaining experiment for all of you to try. First, bind your dominant hand to your side making sure it is not usable. Then wrench the muscles around both of your hips and in the lower mid-part of your back. Next, bruise your tailbone and we’re ready to begin this experiment.
Your first task is to get up out of bed. Relatively simple, right? Not if you can’t sit upright. Next, let’s take a trip to the bathroom. This part of the experiment is for the ladies. Assume you are wearing a tee-shirt and sweatpants. Ready? Now pee. A-ha! Good bloody luck pulling those pants back up. Not so easy anymore is it?
What I’m trying to illustrate is that the simplest of tasks such as rising up off the toilet without the use of back muscles becomes herculean under these circumstances. Now you know some of what I am experiencing since my accident.
I’m almost two weeks into my recovery now and I’m getting the hang of it but the difficulty level is still very high. I don’t get quite as frustrated with my inability to perform a simple task and the muscle spasms aren’t quite as severe, but it is nonetheless tiring at best just trying to do the simplest tasks. I won’t even include some of the nasty side effects of the medicines.
Is there humor in all this misery? Oh hell yes. I don’t know how Devoted Spouse keeps a straight face while watching me just try and brush my teeth, because it’s hysterical. You try it and you’ll see how stupid you look. Once I’m in a chair I try and stay there because of all the effort it takes Devoted Spouse to get me situated. There’s a pillow to support my elbow so I don’t move my arm and at least three other pillows wedged in behind my back to take the strain off certain muscles. To get up I go through this contortionist routine of leaning to my left and rolling onto my left arm then propelling myself up in the air by sort of bouncing off my left hand. This is funny stuff. Thank goodness I haven’t shown up on YouTube yet.
The good news is it won’t last forever. I can get through this. The two greatest helpers ever, Devoted Spouse and EmmaLou, are both taking good care of me. Although it’s a little hard to get EmmaLou to move off my part of the couch – and she steals my covers.
I will be glad when Spring arrives. I told DS I wanted to move to FL so I would never fall on the ice again. He thinks I’m kidding.