Now You Try It

Here’s a fun and entertaining experiment for all of you to try.   First, bind your dominant hand to your side making sure it is not usable.  Then wrench the muscles around both of your hips and in the lower mid-part of your back.  Next, bruise your tailbone and we’re ready to begin this experiment.

Your first task is to get up out of bed.  Relatively simple, right?  Not if you can’t sit upright.  Next, let’s take a trip to the bathroom.  This part of the experiment is for the ladies.  Assume you are wearing a tee-shirt and sweatpants. Ready?  Now pee.  A-ha!  Good bloody luck pulling those pants back up.   Not so easy anymore is it?

What I’m trying to illustrate is that the simplest of tasks such as rising up off the toilet without the use of back muscles becomes herculean under these circumstances.   Now you know some of what I am experiencing since my accident.

I’m almost two weeks into my recovery now and I’m getting the hang of it but the difficulty level is still very high.  I don’t get quite as frustrated with my inability to perform a simple task and the muscle spasms aren’t quite as severe, but it is nonetheless tiring at best just trying to do the simplest tasks.  I won’t even include some of the nasty side effects of the medicines.

Is there humor in all this misery?  Oh hell yes.  I don’t know how Devoted Spouse keeps a straight face while watching me just try and brush my teeth, because it’s hysterical.  You try it and you’ll see how stupid you look.   Once I’m in a chair I try and stay there because of all the effort it takes Devoted Spouse to get me situated.  There’s a pillow to support my elbow so I don’t move my arm and at least three other pillows wedged in behind my back to take the strain off certain muscles.  To get up I go through this contortionist routine of leaning to my left and rolling onto my left arm then propelling myself up in the air by sort of bouncing off my left hand.  This is funny stuff.  Thank goodness I haven’t shown up on YouTube yet.

The good news is it won’t last forever.  I can get through this.  The two greatest helpers ever,  Devoted Spouse and EmmaLou, are both taking good care of me.  Although it’s a little hard to get EmmaLou to move off my part of the couch – and she steals my covers.

I will be glad when Spring arrives.  I told DS I wanted to move to FL so I would never fall on the ice again.  He thinks I’m kidding.


14 thoughts on “Now You Try It

  1. This is an excellent reason to get away from the ice. I seem to remember a reason that I had to brush my teeth with my left hand and it was a tragic experience.
    yes, ice is only good for drinks, hockey and skating – otherwise, skip it.

  2. This is why I hate snow and ice and all things cold! At least your sense of humor is still in tact! 🙂
    hmmm, the sense of humor seems to be on break today — must be that impending 9 inches of snow dragging it down. winter-bad, summer-good, lesson over, class dismissed.

  3. I grew up in Michigan and even though it’s been a long time, I remember the ice all too well. I don’t know what’s worse walking or driving on it. I bet you would vote for walking on it! I hope your rehab went well today and it’s all down hill from here…..on a nice dry surface kind of down hill.
    It’s getting to the point where I don’t even like looking at it!

  4. We are getting lots of ice in Okla. right now and in fact, I just canceled my trip home. The only thing worse than walking on it….is driving on it. Ugh. Get those videos of getting in an out of the chair because you’ll wish you had later. LOL
    Yes, I’ve been watching the weather channel — south of me in Ky they’re gettin hit w/ice. Yuk – it sucks.

  5. Oh poor you. I hope the recovery is going well. At least you can see the funny side of things. I fell off a swing as a child and pulled my back muscles quite badly so I do sympathise with you.
    Pulled muscles are God’s way of getting our attention — He must really be ticked with me!

  6. Since I am still recovering from hip surgery I refused to walk outside today. There is ice everywhere! I got in my car, drove out of the garage, around to the front of my house to the mailbox, got my mail and drove back around to the garage, shut the door and came into the house. My mailbox is only about 30 steps from my front door, but 30 steps of pure ice. Not a drop of ice did I touch! LOL
    Stay put and heal……..heal…….heal!
    It would take an act of Congress to make me go outside today. I think I shall become a recluse. Please be careful out there sweetie!

  7. This makes me think twice before heading out in tomorrows ice storm! Take care of you!
    Thanks Christie!

  8. Oops, I just realized I was logged in as D:U 2 on my previous comment. Sorry about that. It’s supposed to eventually be a site for our mission team heading out in February.

  9. I’ve been laid up as well with pulled muscles I just didn’t do it as spectacularly as you did nor as bad. Yes, I agree whole heartedly that trying to get up off the toilet AND pull your clothes back up has got to be the worst part of it. You just have the additional challenge of one armed. Sorry you are still so sore but you are least on the mend, sorta. Feel better soon.
    I never do anythng half-assed kiddo! one day at a time…

  10. Thought I would check in on you and say to not venture going out today…snow, tons of it and ice coming your way, if it isn’t already there…

    The mechanics of the simplist things are more complex than we consider…now we know why we learn to walk when the floor is only a few inches from our behinds…*smile*

    I vote for Florida or Arizona, too…
    It is a white-out here w/muchh more to come. Ick. I’d even fly to Calif to get out of this. I HATE to fly…but that’s how much I hate winter more. Lovely attitude, eh?

  11. Well, we have had a few cold spells – one down into the twenties, but no ice to be found on the ground. It really is like paradise. Just went and saw a bunch of manatees in the river. Palm trees, sand…just something to think about when wrestling into your underwear in the morning.
    There isa foot of snow here and it’s still coming down. We’ve lived in OH for 18 years and I am ready for something sunnier. Palm trees and sand sound wonderful! or now I’ll have to settle for the sight of huge pieces of ice sliding off the roof. Sigh…

  12. Boy or Boy, I feel sorry for you and fI hope the owie’s begin to feel just a little better. Check out my last post I just did–You take care now–Frank
    The owies are getting better – my new friend Percoset keep them in check. Thank you for the flowers in AZ spring – I’m feeling happier already! EmmaLou says We heart Frank! 😉

  13. Wow, I am sorry to hear that you fell. Sounds very painful. I broke my tailbone a year ago and it still hurts. I can actually feel the end of the broken bone. Even bruising your tail bone is very painful combined with all the other pains you have it must be awful. I hope you heal quickly. Once I move this weekend I will be back online and writing posts and visiting you. You take care and be well.
    Thanks sweetie — good luck w/the move!

  14. I’m having sympathy pains for you right now. I have a sore thumb, or rather that meaty portion between my thumb and forefinger is sore as hell. I strained it, and picking anything up with that hand, while not impossible, is painful and not smart. Typing isn’t so hard, but probably doesn’t help. I’ve had this happen before, and it just takes a few days of rest to get over it, so no big deal. The other day I had a thought … what if I hurt the other thumb by overcompensating? Then I would be in a pickle. Pulling up the pants would indeed be impossible, as would blow drying my hair, brushing my teeth, all the things you mentioned that we usually take for granted. I have discovered that opposable thumbs are good things to have. Our bodies are such wonderful machines, and run so smoothly that you don’t pay them any notice until they don’t run smoothly. So, I can imagine what an effort it is for you just to do normal things every day. I hope the therapy helps you in a hurry!
    Thanks – I’m doing my best!

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