It Only Hurts When I Breathe

In the Divine Comedy Dante described 9 circles of hell. He miscounted; there are actually 10 circles.  I know this because I’m at the tenth circle.   It’s a peculiar place inhabited by those of us with various infirmities that aren’t life-threatening but carry a pain level (on a scale of 1-10) of 3,895.

Having been on the injured reserve list for a week now, it was time yesterday for a follow-up visit to the Dr.   This Dr. is part of a large practice as I discovered when I hobbled through the door and was met by a veritable sea of the aged, crippled and infirm. Ah-ha — the 10th circle holds those with walkers, canes, splints, slings and numerous bandages.   One poor guy had metal rods screwed into his arm visible to all.  This was not Disney World, but Dante’s World.  All semblance of cheer left me in that room.   What made me smile was when I realized I looked just as crappy as the rest of them.   I couldn’t wait to get home!

Home is where you can look like crap to your heart’s content.  Home is where the comfy chair and the old quilt welcome you.  Home is where Devoted Spouse makes cheese and pickle sandwiches because you can’t open the jar of pickles by yourself.  Home is where the drugs are and drug time is a good thing (short term).  Home is where your little puppy girl won’t leave your side and keeps licking your sling to make it better.  Home is where it doesn’t matter that your socks don’t match and you put your sweatpants on backwards — it was a minor miracle you put them on by yourself at all.

In this one short week of recovery there have been little failures and a few minor victories.   I will keep slogging through this and try to retain my sense of humor.   I remarked to one of my pastors a few weeks ago that I thought God was trying to teach me humility.   Okey dokey there Big Guy, can I have a pass and get this over with quickly?  I’d really like to get my hair done soon.

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7 thoughts on “It Only Hurts When I Breathe

  1. Oh My! I’ve been gone and just caught up on my reading. Sounds like the Dr.’s office I go to for my hip. Everyone’s either on crutches, in a wheelchair or some other contraption. Poor girl! Wish I could help but between your arm and my leg we probably would just hurt each other. Take Care!
    We’d probably hurt ourselves further from laughing!

  2. AWWWW but don’t the drugs moake it worth it?
    That’s a loaded question — I think I’d rather be able to wash my own hair than be on these drugs. Yes they lessen the pain but they have some nasty side effects, one of which is bothering me more than my injured arm and the back spasms combined. What a bummer.

  3. Oh I so hope you start feeling better soon. It’s nice that Devoted Spouse is home to take care of you.
    Thank you, sweetie. I would be lost without him.

  4. I’m so sorry that you are still hurting so much. Sucks to hurt. Please get better soon and tell DS we all think he is a pretty cool dude!
    Yeah, I mistakenly thought I would be fine in la few days. It’s actually going to be more like a few months recovery w/phys therapy. Bleccch. I will need many chuckles in the days to come. Yup, DS is the best!

  5. Oh, Linda, gosh forbid there is a next time but remember I am a very good caregiver……lots of experience. I could have flown in a taken care of you and just think of all those physical therapy visits you probably will have that will continually wear you out. Okay, so we will talk and see if you need me to send you frozen portions of stuff you can just pop in the microwave and then still carry on like usual if somebody asks how you made it. Just say oh it was easy………at least you won’t have additional pain!! And Devoted Spouse will be happy to have the food. And EmmaLou will certainly like all the leftovers of thick rich soups and tasty stews!! Hmm, I hear my phone ring…..it has to be Emma Lou calling. Please take care,
    Frank
    Frank
    Frank you are such a dear. Would you believe last night our oven decided to end its relationship with us? Thank goodness for microwaves! Oops, there goes EmmaLou with my cell phone again 😉

  6. I had high hopes you’d be doing cartwheels by now. I’ll keep believing the pain will vanish soon and then I’ll expect pictures of those cartwheels soon. ((HUGS))
    Thanx for the hugs! The arm & shoulder are better – hand is still stiff. The big problem is the torn muscles in my back & hip – thank God for pain meds! I start therapy Mon. Think happy thoughts 😉

  7. Glad you are getting back to normal – or what is considered normal for Linda. 🙂
    I’m working on it…baby steps

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