Behold the Power of Ice

All I wanted to do was drive to my friend’s house to feed his cats since he was out of town. Sounds simple enough. It was snowing and very cold that morning. Devoted Spouse had gone out to get my car warmed up and cleared of snow. And then everything went to heck in a handbasket.

Life took on the appearance of a three-panel cartoon as I made that fateful first step. One baby step onto the ice was all it took to initiate launch sequence. We had lift-off; Linda was airborne. Slow motion, arms flailing in the air, realizing the outcome was not going to be good.

As my tailbone was about to meet concrete pavement, my brain sent a signal to my right hand to brace myself for impact. That may be the last time I listen to my brain. I did such a good job of bracing that my arm decided on its own to head for warmer climes and left the relative safety of my shoulder. My arm decided to relocate while my shoulder decided to dislocate. Can you say pain?

I could hardly move and Devoted Spouse had to drag me into the garage. Meanwhile I had visions of one of those construction cranes trying to hoist me upright because I sure couldn’t do it. I was content to lay on the garage floor and die, but Devoted Spouse had other ideas.

I knew I was hurt but I hate doctors and hospitals. So I ate 4 ibuprofren and managed to sit at our kitchen table thinking it would get better. It didn’t. It got worse. So much worse that even I wanted to call 911.
Thinking lucidly, I asked Devoted Spouse to help me take off my new Ohio State Univ hoodie because I just knew that some bright person in the ER would want to cut me out of it — that’s what they do on all the dr. shows on tv. Fortunately I had a tee shirt on underneath the sweatshirt.

Even though I was in alot of pain, the ride in the ambulance was fun. I had a cute paramedic which helped. Being hooked up to a morphine drip helped the time go by. It didn’t diminish the pain any.

By the time we arrived at the hospital, I was truly in agony. X-rays showed that my arm had indeed seceded from my shoulder and someone was going to have to coax the two body parts back together. I suggested using a liberal amount of Gorilla Glue but was told they didn’t have any.

When the dr. told me they were going to put my shoulder back in its socket I felt like a Legos project gone horribly wrong. Off to my left side was a nurse who kept pulling vial after vial out of her pocket and they were all for me — I was about to experience the good stuff. She started with more morphine, then added a cocktail of Dilaudid and another drug beginning with a V and suddenly I felt just fine.

Being anxious, I asked the doc when she would start the procedure. She smiled as she told me they were already done. Yup — those were some good drugs.

To wrap this up — I’m home with another lovely supply of narcotics and the world’s most patient nurse (Devoted Spouse). I’m finding life challenging but we’ll get through it.

Keep thinking positive happy thoughts and I’ll check back with y’all in a couple of days. Thanks for all your kindness and prayers. Love you guys — Linda


14 thoughts on “Behold the Power of Ice

  1. ( been following your blog for about a month now)…sending you good wishes for a healthy recovery. I broke my ankle back in December and it has healed very fast. The forced rest was actually quite good for me. I hope you “enjoy” it…just don’t force yourself too early to do crazy stuff!

    your description of the event was great! I felt like I was right there next to you…and your humor is something to learn from!

    Be well!
    thanks for stopping by and dropping off good wishes!

  2. OMGsh, I’m so sorry but I had to laugh out loud at your description of Devoted Spouse dragging you into the garage and from there on I couldn’t stop laughing while reading it out loud to HBL. I’m glad you got some good drugs and such a great nurse. I’ll keep praying and please don’t get mad…….but I’ll probably keep giggling too. Oh my!!!
    I was terrified one of the neighborhood busybodies would record my efforts to rise and then post it online. Please keep praying. Let me assure you if i didn’t laugh during this ordeal I would simply go sit under a tree and hope for a lightning bolt. So giggle away –that’s why i’m here…cheap entertainment.

  3. I know it is a lot funnier to read than experience.

    I hope you are back to normal in record time.

    Please do not have a repeat performance!

    thank you Michael I shall do my best to never repeat this fun-packed experience!

  4. I imagine Devoted Spouse dragging you in the garage by your hair like a cavewoman. 🙂
    Sorry for the visual. Hope the narcotics help and that you get better soon, and if not…at least the drugs will knock you out! 🙂

  5. I agree, reading your description was just like being there, up to the point that I’m not injured and you are. You poor thing, sounds horribly painful. I think the drug that started with a “V” was Versed and it is wonderful. Most people when getting that, plus pain meds don’t remember procedures happening. It is wonderful.

    Get well soon and when you are all healed up, you owe DS a really big hug. Thank God you have him to help you out.
    You’re right…it was Versed and i liked it!

  6. Stop by my place when you feel up to it – I might have something to cheer you up!
    Thank you so much sweetie. Give me a few days to pass it on. Hugs (gently)

  7. Wow, another thing to add to my list of “I never want to do that”. Hope you get better quickly.
    funny – it was on my list also. Thanks for good wishes and for stopping by.

  8. So sorry to hear about your tumble… but at least you have a DS to help you out! And narcotics, of course…

    You take care and get better soon!

    (Prayers goin’ up for ya!)
    thanks Scott, yes DS is a super caretaker and he does laundry! Glad you stopped by.

  9. Ice…I hate ice…to walk on, to drive on, to even skate on…yuck…I, too, have had the experience where you are looking at the toes of your boots that are eye level before the terrible impact with concrete…no fun!!!

    But, now, maybe, your canine destroyer can become your service animal as well as DS…probably not. She would eat the laundry…

    Get well soon, friend…no matter what the Marines say, pain is not your friend…
    I soooo want to move south – because of this accident I now don’t even want to leave the house.
    EmmaLou won’t leave my side – she’s trying hard to be a good girl. Man being injured is really depressing.

  10. Linda – I hope you recover quickly and painlessly. Only you can make this funny! Gorilla Glue….LOL.
    I have this ridiculous ability to see humor in everything. Thanks for the well wishes.

  11. I am so happy to see you post! I was gonna send you an e-mail today to check up on ya but looks like you beat me to it! But I am so sorry that happened. I hope you have a speedy recovery!

    I still have a bottle of Gorilla Glue if ya need it.
    hi baby – i’m hanging in there. Don’t expect to see a daily posting from me just yet. I have a hsrd enough time w/ blogging ideas, but these drugs make me even more ditsier than usual. Thanks for well wishes.

  12. Welcome back to Blogland!!! You can go ahead and say it … everything went to HELL in a handbasket … it won’t offend me.

    Funny post, not so funny experience. Best wishes for a speedy, speedy recovery … and don’t start liking those drugs too much!
    Thanks for the wishes — I like the speedy part.

  13. Hello Linda

    I’m new to your blog, and have read the account of your fall on the ice it was fun to read though I do know the pain you suffered was contrary.

    I wish you a speedy recovery from your injuries and am pleased to hear that your devoted spouse makes such patient nurse. *s*

    Warm wishes
    Hi Ronnie thanks for your kind comments – I find humor lessens the pain of any situation. Visit again soon – my drugs are starting to kick in so I’ll see ya later!

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