Now that Devoted Spouse and I are both retired, we engage in an early morning activity we once had no time to enjoy. No…not that activity…I’m talking about having breakfast together. Together… with lots of time to enjoy a second pot of coffee, and while actually sitting down at the breakfast table.
Cholesterol be danged, we like bacon for breakfast. We enjoy real caffeinated strong coffee for breakfast. One of us enjoys eggs (that would be me) while the other one turns up his cute little nose. We both enjoy various breads. Our one salute to the diet and health aspect is to substitute Smart Balance spread for real butter. I’m not that thrilled about the substitution, but I have accepted it.
One of our favorite breads is the old fashioned English Muffin — you know those wonderful squashed white bread thingies – Thomas’s English Muffins. Not to get too far off the subject, but we visited England and they eat scones and crumpets – not English Muffins. It would be silly to call crumpets ‘English crumpets’ in England just like it would be silly to call fried chicken ‘American fried chicken’ in America. We know the French don’t call their potatoes French Fries, but then again, personal experience has shown the French to be a bunch of arrogant, rude….oh I’m getting so off track here. Anyway…we’re discussing English muffins.
As I was preparing our English muffins to be toasted, I had to finish slicing them open. The muffins are placed in their little package “fork split” but that doesn’t open them completely; hence, the slicing operation. As I was slicing through the bread I wondered why anyone in their right mind would use a fork to partially cut open a muffin. It causes a raggedy mess and makes the final slicing difficult and messy at best. In fact, as I sliced one muffin, I noticed a tremendous amount of bread crumbs, many of which were rather large. It seemed such a waste, that I took the following picture to demonstrate just how much left-over bread there is when slicing open an English muffin.
Now, it’s a bit difficult to tell, as my digital camera doesn’t work very well with close-ups, but that is an All-Clad 2-Tablespoon measuring cup of bread that didn’t make it into the muffin because some manufacturing geek thought it would be cheaper in the process to use a fork to split the muffins instead of a knife. Two tablespoons worth! If you multiply that by the number of muffins in each package, well, I’d wager you get at least one muffin’s worth of crumbs per package. What a travesty.
Thinking maybe this was my fault for using a serrated knife to finish opening up the muffins, I tried a regular butter knife. It made an unholy mess as I ripped open the muffins. Then I took a fork and attempted to finish splitting the muffin apart – and I ended up with alot of crumbs and a place on my palm where the fork accidentally poked the crap out of me. You simply have to finish the job using a serrated edge knife and that leads to all the excess pieces of muffin.
There is a distinct possibility that I have too much time on my hands.