Honey…How Many Presents Did You Buy Me?

I got real prideful the other day and announced that I’m done with my Christmas shopping. Now I’m having a panic attack because I forgot about stocking stuffers and also completely forgot about the Golden Destroyer finding one of her gifts already. Where is my brain? I have to shop!!! Next week is Christmas and I have nothing to put in Devoted Spouse’s Christmas stocking. OMG I have nothing to put into EmmaLou’s Christmas stocking. This can’t be happening. And we’re supposed to get more freezing rain tomorrow. I need valium. Or a margarita.

Earlier in the week I finished wrapping up the presents I bought for Devoted Spouse. I placed them around our tree just peaking out enough so he could see them, and, of course, I counted the gifts. Then I brought him into the dining room where we placed the tree this year and I proudly showed him his gifts – Ta-Da! He was suitably excited. Then he went back to watching tv.

Later I asked him, “Sweetie, how many gifts have you gotten for me?” Now, this is important because the total number of gifts has to be the same or one or the other spouse may get upset Christmas morning (that would be me). This includes stocking presents, too. Has to be the same number. No discussion. (Okay, I’m not proud of this behavior, but at least I’m honest.)

He answered my question and that’s when I knew I was in trouble — he got more gifts for me than I have for him. Gahhhhh. Quick like a bunny I hit the internet and found a very cool gift and paid a thousand gazillion dollars in shipping to ensure it arrives here prior to Christmas.

Now all I need are stocking stuffers. And more stuff for EmmaLou. And, oh yeah I better get some food for Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning, and Christmas Day and…oh Calgon take me away! Once again this year I didn’t time everything correctly – and here I thought because I was retired I would have all the time in the world to plan Christmas this year. Wrong again — a little thing called flu put the kibosh on that!

Cookies? Cookies? Wait a minute…you mean I’m supposed to bake, too ???!!!


10 thoughts on “Honey…How Many Presents Did You Buy Me?

  1. That is so funny. We blogged about the same thing today–No Time!!! My wasband and I used to count presents too. I’ve done that same thing and paid too much shipping because I didn’t order in time. Oh, when will I learn? I’m thinking if I haven’t learned by 59 years old I’m never going to learn. I’ll be back to see if you got your baking done πŸ˜‰
    I really think Christmas should be moved forward a month or two to give me more time. I absolutely love that you call your ex your wasband – that made me laugh outloud!!! Baking, oh yeah, I forgot again…

  2. Atleast you have most likely already finished your Christmas shopping. Me, on the other hand, have YET to finish and I haven’t even gotten 1 stocking stuffer!

    But like you, I want everyone to have the same amount of gifts or someone will be upset. I don’t care if they’re small or big. If my sister has 3, I want 3 too! Now if twins weren’t so expensive.
    Today is my stocking stuffer shopping day and our weather is horrid – ick – I’m just glad I don’t have a big family I have to buy for this year! Get out there and shop girl!!! πŸ™‚

  3. I told Hubby that we still needed to get a few things to finish up Christmas and he was like, “What..?” “for who?” I told him that we didn’t get everything for the kids yet. SIL is done and I am mostly done with Daughter and Son, but I am still not done – done. We didn’t get each other much since we just got the washer/dryer, Hubby got a new laptop for work and I am getting my tattoo. We are pretty much done for each other. This is the most last minute I think I have ever been. Still haven’t gotten Hubby to wrap a thing yet either. He probably won’t do that until Monday.
    D – take a deep breath, you still have time! I think if my Devoted Spouse cut back on my gifts because we just got a washer/dryer I’d have to have a real heart-to-heart talk with that boy! It’s Christmas and it’s all about the gifts! (only kidding you know). Devoted Spouse hasn’t wrapped anything yet, either. I know this because my dining room table is still full of wrapping paper and miscellaneous bows and ribbons left over from my wrapping frenzy the other day.

  4. Christmas!?!?!?!?! Damn! πŸ™‚

    We try to keep things the saem between us too. It really doesn’t matter the cost…but just the number of gifts.
    Sneaks up on us, doesn’t it? Let’s talk about cost for a minute…if he gets me cheap stuff and I get him nice stuff but the amount of gifts are the same then that’s okay? I don’t think so. I want the same number of gifts and the same level of quality that I am giving in return. I know I’m going directly to hell for this attitude! πŸ˜€ Then again, Devoted Spouse never gets me cheap stuff — well there was one year…but I’ll save that story for a posting later.

  5. Uh, Linda, the cookies would be really nice if you could decorate them a little. I hope you don’t mind. And, uh while your at it I think it would be nice if you made Emmalou some homemade biscuits to chew on. If you need a recipe I could, mmmmmm,send it to you!!

    You are as the rest tell too funny. What would life be like without you!!
    Take care Santa Linda, it will all happen!!
    Oh fer cryin’ out loud…now you want me to decorate them?? What’s next? πŸ˜€ No biscuits for EmmaLou — she’s in the proverbial human house for digging through Christmas presents to find hers. I went out this morning and found another fuzzy chew toy and like an idiot I left it in its plastic bag on the bench in my hallway — guess who started poking her little black nose in that bag??!! Such a stinker!

  6. Thanks for visiting my blog and adding me to your blog roll. I suggest valium with a margarita chaser. Works for me every time.

    I have 1 more person to buy for then I’m done. This includes cookies. Why do I have to bake cookies when I don’t eat them? I’m thinkin’ a tantrum is in order.
    You bring the valium; I’ll provide the margaritas and we can kick and scream together!

  7. Glad I stopped in for a visit. Thanks for reminding me that I forgot all about buying myself a Christmas present. I was looking forward to finding a nice size harmonica under the fiber optic tabletop tree that arrived a couple of weeks ago, and that I took out of its box this morning. I don’t know how to play a harmonica but I can’t afford a piano right now. Of course I don’t really play a piano either. Gotta go shopping soon.
    I love harmonicas, and I can’t play one either. I had a piano for awhile – those lessons were a mistake; some of us just aren’t meant to be musical!

  8. We got around the hassles by giving each other Visa gift certificates. They are loaded like a gift certificate but can be use the same as a credit card; ie even online!
    The nice thing is you don’t have to pay at the end of the month!
    I know, I know, it isn’t the same as getting lots of, “loot” to unwrap but it is VERY nice to have the freedom to buy some goodies later on!
    But Emmalou DOES deserve cookies, human or otherwise(just to add to your stress load..lol)
    I like opening gifts – it doesn’t matter so much what is inside – it’s so much fun to rip it all open! This year we did the smart thing and paid cash for Christmas whenever possible — that way no big credit card bills in Jan or Feb. Only makes sense. EmmaLou will get her cookies – her groomer wrapped up some goodies for her and I’ve hidden them so she will be surprised Christmas morning with lots of biscuits!

  9. A big congratulations to you as I have finished my review of “Crone and Bear It” and have added your blog to the Blogging Women directory.

    I’ve been having a great laugh with many of your post (sounds much like myself at times).

    Keep up the outstanding work with this blog and welcome to our women’s blog directory.

    Happy Holidays!

    P.S. – A margarita will do.
    Thank you so much – I’m happy to join the Blogging Women directory! I’m also delighted you got a chuckle or two from my silliness – it’s all about laughing and enjoying our lives! Merry Christmas!
    P.S. I thought I might leave one out for Santa this year; I’m thinking he needs it, too!

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