I got real prideful the other day and announced that I’m done with my Christmas shopping. Now I’m having a panic attack because I forgot about stocking stuffers and also completely forgot about the Golden Destroyer finding one of her gifts already. Where is my brain? I have to shop!!! Next week is Christmas and I have nothing to put in Devoted Spouse’s Christmas stocking. OMG I have nothing to put into EmmaLou’s Christmas stocking. This can’t be happening. And we’re supposed to get more freezing rain tomorrow. I need valium. Or a margarita.
Earlier in the week I finished wrapping up the presents I bought for Devoted Spouse. I placed them around our tree just peaking out enough so he could see them, and, of course, I counted the gifts. Then I brought him into the dining room where we placed the tree this year and I proudly showed him his gifts – Ta-Da! He was suitably excited. Then he went back to watching tv.
Later I asked him, “Sweetie, how many gifts have you gotten for me?” Now, this is important because the total number of gifts has to be the same or one or the other spouse may get upset Christmas morning (that would be me). This includes stocking presents, too. Has to be the same number. No discussion. (Okay, I’m not proud of this behavior, but at least I’m honest.)
He answered my question and that’s when I knew I was in trouble — he got more gifts for me than I have for him. Gahhhhh. Quick like a bunny I hit the internet and found a very cool gift and paid a thousand gazillion dollars in shipping to ensure it arrives here prior to Christmas.
Now all I need are stocking stuffers. And more stuff for EmmaLou. And, oh yeah I better get some food for Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning, and Christmas Day and…oh Calgon take me away! Once again this year I didn’t time everything correctly – and here I thought because I was retired I would have all the time in the world to plan Christmas this year. Wrong again — a little thing called flu put the kibosh on that!
Cookies? Cookies? Wait a minute…you mean I’m supposed to bake, too ???!!!