I’ve been listening to the suggestions for a puppy for the upcoming White House occupants and I believe they are going about this the wrong way. Obama isn’t ready for a puppy. He hasn’t finished his homework in this area.
Much like getting to know the parents in order to see how the children will turn out, Obama needs to check out an adult dog to see how the puppy will turn out. Enter EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer extraordinaire.
Now we’ve been told the senior Obama is concerned with our failing economy. If he wants to help Americans stay in their homes and keep to their budgets, he needs a first-hand account of where their money goes. Enter EmmaLou, etc.
Senor Obama may be wealthy in his own right…hey, c’mon, all those fat-cat politicians have big bucks. But the family pet allowance simply cannot be taken from the pocket of the taxpayer — why that would be just wrong. Monsieur Obama can have the house, the contents, their food, and other goodies, but puppy expenses better come out of the Obama wallet. Enter EmmaLou, yada yada yada.
You see, Mr. President-elect, a puppy is cute and cuddly and has that wonderful puppy breath, but there’s a downside to puppies. They grow, they eat anything that falls within their grasp, they create chaos and cause unbelievable damage. Yes, they’re cute as the dickens. But there is more to a puppy than chow and pee-pads. Enter you-know-who…
On average, EmmaLou has cost us about a thousand dollars a year. That doesn’t include normal doggie expenses such as food, grooming, toys, vets, licensing…no, that thousand dollars a year is the cost of damages. Furniture, carpet, wood trim, doors, library books, clothing…the list is virtually endless.
So, Herr Obama, here’s my offer: You come pick up EmmaLou and take her to your place for a month or two and see how she works out. If you can stomach the illnesses (yes, she eats pretty much anything that falls on the floor and that can make her sick), put up with the fact that the living room curtains are now cafe style (she loves cotton), and if you’re very physically fit (she can run like the wind if the gate is left open), you might just stand a chance at raising a puppy.
Mr. Obama, the American public understands that all politicians talk out of turn on occasion, and I’m thinking that’s what happened to you when you blurted out the puppy promise. So, do the right thing before it’s too late — rescind the puppy promise and give the kids a goldfish. Goldfish rarely get out of their bowls, won’t pee on your carpet, and are not known to eat the tv remote.
I know of what I speak…enter EmmaLou…