Doctors will tell you the Silent Killer is heart disease. I’ve also heard high blood pressure termed the Silent Killer. Both of these are incorrect definitions of “silent killer.”
The true Silent Killer is my trusty canine companion, EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer. As a byproduct of her recent health ailments, her medicine is causing her to emit noxious clouds of gas. If only I could figure out how to harness it, this gas would make a wonderful alternative fuel source to propel a vehicle. The stench of it alone can propel me into another room.
EmmaLou has become the Invisible Incapacitator. To paraphrase the immortal words of George Carlin, she could knock a buzzard off a poop wagon. It’s stealthy stink, this gaseous cloud of death, wafting over one’s nostrils gently while leaving an aroma of burning tires.
Wait — perhaps this should be harnessed not for fuel, but as a weapon. It certainly qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction. You can’t see or hear it sneaking up on you…it hits you like a ton of bricks…it takes your breath away and knocks you flat on your keister…it has the power to clear out about 500 sq yards of humanity at one time — and it’s free. I just may be onto something here…