I’m EmmaLou…It’s What I Do

Doctors will tell you the Silent Killer is heart disease.  I’ve also heard high blood pressure termed the Silent Killer.  Both of these are incorrect definitions of “silent killer.” 

The true Silent Killer is my trusty canine companion, EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer.  As a byproduct of her recent health ailments, her medicine is causing her to emit noxious clouds of gas.  If only I could figure out how to harness it, this gas would make a wonderful alternative fuel source to propel a vehicle.  The stench of it alone can propel me into another room. 

EmmaLou has become the Invisible Incapacitator.   To paraphrase the immortal words of George Carlin, she could knock a buzzard off a poop wagon.  It’s stealthy stink, this gaseous cloud of death, wafting over one’s nostrils gently while leaving an aroma of burning tires. 

Wait — perhaps this should be harnessed not for fuel, but as a weapon. It certainly qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction.  You can’t see or hear it sneaking up on you…it hits you like a ton of bricks…it takes your breath away and knocks you flat on your keister…it has the power to clear out about 500 sq yards of humanity at one time — and it’s free.  I just may be onto something here…

5 thoughts on “I’m EmmaLou…It’s What I Do

  1. Poor EmmaLou, she must be miserable. You being miserable is only, pardon the pun, a byproduct of her poor tummy.
    Now as your ideas on harnessing the a fore mentioned byproduct, sounds pretty profitable if you can manage it.
    I dunno, baby, I think she’s enjoying our discomfort — I swear I see a puppy grin now and again.

  2. My lab is the same…but there is not a need for medicine to create this “issue”…she is a room clearer.
    I’m attributing it to the meds because while she has always had an occasional issue, it has never been this bad or this continual. Heaven help us if it isn’t the meds!

  3. Poor Emma! Poor you!!! I know all about those noxious smells, and then the puppies look at you with those sad eyes that say, I didn’t mean to do that! Hope she gets better soon, for both of your sakes!
    She is on the mend, thanks, and I’ve learned to be upwind of her!!

  4. LOL, LOL and again, LOL….oh, how I know about dog farts…
    My little Shiz Zui can clear a room, wake you out of a deep sleep or embarass any guest as they try to make conversation while holding their breath….
    I don’t know how anything that smells like it crawled up his butt and died can come from such a small dog, but it does….
    I agree, the solution to energy or chemical warfare is in harnessing dog farts…LOL
    I always laugh at how 80 pounds of dog can produce so much methane!!

  5. Aww poor EmmaLou!
    Glad that she is getting better though!
    Our old collie had the flatulence problem; well because we kids would give her all kinds of candy and gum, poor dog.
    Her digestive system just couldn’t handle it…
    YES she would silently let it rip then look at us sadly as if to say how embarrassing the whole thing was…
    I love how everybody can relate to my story — we’ve all been through it and know how deadly it is – Puppy Girl is getting better but she’s not over it yet and I’m afraid we’re in for more — I’m searching eBay for gas masks…

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