Another Fine Mess She’s Got Me In

Did you ever watch an event happen in slow motion?  Remember the Bionic Man and how they would slow down his running and make that weird sound to accompany it?  Then you will understand part of my day yesterday.

On a break from studying, I joined Devoted Spouse in the family room for what used to be called Cocktail Hour.  I was not imbibing, however, due to needing all my faculties in top shape for aforementioned studying.  He, on the other hand, was enjoying a lovely Cosmopolitan.  Now I know some of you will think that’s not a very manly libation for Devoted Spouse.  But, gender aside, he simply likes Cran-Grape juice and that’s what we use in Cosmopolitans at Chez Croneandbearit.  To make his aperitif even more special, he fixed it in one of my nice crystal martini glasses.  Can you see where this is leading?

Devoted Spouse took his drink from the kitchen to the family room, where trusty canine companion and I were firmly ensconsced in front of the tv set (she loves tv).  He gently set his drink on the coffee table and settled back on the couch for a few quiet moments.

It’s never quiet in our home if EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer, is close at hand, and she’s always close at hand.  As Devoted Spouse — this is in slow motion, mind you — gently leaned back into the comfy couch, trusty canine companion decided she wanted to be on that side of the room instead of with me.  Did I mention that my Golden Destroyer has a very busy tail which wags incessantly and can actually lower the temperature in a 300 square foot area?  Well, she took her 80 pound dog body with its incessantly wagging tail over to be with Devoted Spouse and guess what the tail caught?  Oh yeah, the crystal martini glass which was still full of nice reddish-purple grape juice.  Did I mention my Berber carpet in the family room is a cream color?  Not any more.

EmmaLou helped sop up the mess and as it turns out she’s rather fond of Cosmopolitans.  We pulled the large, antique, coffee table (it’s actually made from an old ship’s hatch from a World War II Liberty boat so you get the idea it’s big and heavy and is seldom moved) away from the sodden mess to have better access to the huge, rapidly-soaking-in stain.  After many damp paper towels, I was heartened to see that the rug was no longer a purple hue, but I discovered something else equally perplexing.  That section of the carpet had a light green tinge — in fact I had to turn on a light and even open the curtains wider to get a good look at it.  Yup – it was light green.

D’ya remember my story last spring about how Golden Destroyer ate part of a bottle of light green craft paint and left the remains on my light blue dining room carpet?  Apparently she stashed a bit of that light green paint under my coffee table.  She’s so sly. 

Final tally?  A few bucks for a new martini glass, a couple bucks for the grape juice/vodka, a buck or two for all the paper towels, and probably a thousand bucks for new carpet in the family room.  EmmaLou strikes again.


3 thoughts on “Another Fine Mess She’s Got Me In

  1. EmmaLou just let you know that you needed some redecorating done, starting literally from the floor up. Might I suggest a darker color?? Or laminate flooring with area rugs that are cheaper to replace if needed?

    We learned long ago to base our choices on the animal population in our home. If we ever thought it was going to change when the kids left, we were sooo wrong!
    sweetie I don’t know what I was thinking when I tried to combine having a nice home with allowing EmmaLou freedom of the house. The two simply don’t mix and now it’s too late to teach her any rooms are off limits. I’m thinking instead of laying a new carpet, laying a tarp!

  2. Poor EmmaLou! She just can’t win, can she? Yes, I knew where that one was going! We had to replace our carpet because of Zoe once. It wasn’t a Cosmopolitan, though … nope, she had a bout of colitis one day when no one was home. Poor baby was so sick, but oh my gosh, I’ve never seen such a mess, and doubt I ever will again. Let’s make that … I hope I never see that kind of mess again!
    Oh Carla, I probably understand this better than most — we had an Australian Shepherd who stole a 4 lb roast off the counter one night and proceeded to eat the whole thing. When I got home from work the next day – well – I’ve never seen a room so full of you-know-what in my life. And, I’ve never truly enjoyed roast since then!! But we love them!

  3. I am having memories of my Chocolate Lab, Zack (gone about 6 years now, of cancer, not chicken) dining on a rotisserie chicken, bones and all and the results of that. I still loved him too.

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