I’m supposed to be studying for a test. I’m supposed to be writing a 12 page research paper which is due next week. I’m supposed to be tidying the house. I’m supposed to be paying some bills. I’m supposed to be writing up a response to a discussion question. I’m supposed to be in better control of my life (I’m sure God is getting a big ha-ha out of that one). I’m supposed to be eating healthier. I’m supposed to be exercising more. I’m supposed to be nicer to my spouse. I’m supposed to be more supportive of my friends. I’m supposed to be adding humorous roughage to my blog. I’m supposed, I’m supposed, I’m supposed.
Today, in anticipation of “supposed” no.1 above I wanted to provide an adorable video for you all to watch while I studied, but I was supposed to ‘sign up’ for a service I didn’t want, so you get no video, and here I am slogging through my blogging to give you something to read (I never promised it would be “good” reading).
Have you ever stopped to think about all the things we are supposed to do in our lives? I find right now I have too many “supposeds” and I’m undecided on how to handle that. It’s probably due to stress that any of this even crosses my delirious mind. My romantic side tells me I need to go away to a quiet place, meditate, and write. My practical side tells me to quit messing around and get that ^&&(*&% paper started. My trusty canine tells me I’m supposed to be spending quality time with her.
I honestly believe the problem lies with my disappointment. I’m disappointed in family members, pastoral staff, school, friends, my expectations, and the list goes on and on. Before this posting gets way too in the weeds with nonsense, I’m off to the kitchen for a necessary infusion of caffeine and Advil. Maybe with some good coffee and a few ibuprofren in me I can ditch some of the “supposeds” and the brain fog will lift.
Or…I could have someone just shove me off the nearest cliff. Coffee, cliff, whatever is easiest…