Hello? Hello? Anybody There?

In all my years on this earth, I never thought I would live to see the day when I said these words, “I’m so sorry but my dog accidentally dialed the wrong number.” 

It was a quiet evening – I was spending time on my studies in my home office/crap room and I was being kept company by my trusty canine companion, EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer.  In anticipation of a call from a friend of mine, I had my little pink cell phone sitting close by.

As I was typing away on a school paper, I thought I heard voices.  Here I am studying theology, and I’m hearing voices.  I’m thinking to myself, “didn’t they burn people at the stake for stuff like this?”  Hmmm… As I’m listening closer to see if God is actually trying to get in touch with me, I see out of the corner of my eye a furry object walking by with something pink hanging out of her mouth. 

EmmaLou has my cell phone…she has managed to flip it open, and a voice is coming out of the phone; a voice I could distinctly hear saying, “Hello?  Hello?  Is anybody there?”  Yes, my dog is now calling strangers on my cell phone and breathing heavily into the phone.  I managed to get the phone out of her nasty dog grip and that’s when I found myself saying those amazing words…”I’m sorry, but my dog accidentally dialed the wrong number.”  Amazingly, the person on the other end of this ridiculous conversation actually said in reply, “That’s okay, no problem.” 

No problem??  No problem??  EmmaLou being able to actually connect with someone on a cell phone is akin to the infinite monkey theorem which states (as we all have heard) that monkeys hitting keys on a keypad given an infinite amount of time will turn out something on the order of Shakespeare’s Hamlet – or something like that.  Now we have the EmmaLou theorem which states anything in the grip of EmmaLou has the ability given no time at all to embarrass and disturb the heck out of me. 

EmmaLou is now on my “close-watch” list.  I’ve hidden my car keys just in case…

8 thoughts on “Hello? Hello? Anybody There?

  1. I just read your post and laughed out loud. I work at a telephone answering service and this sort of thing happens all the time. My favorite episode involved a plumber who calls in many times a day to check his messages. One day while driving around between jobs he dialed our service by accident on his cell and I was treated to a “concert” — the poor man thought he was alone and was singing along with the radio at full volume (and not very well!) Now, I cannot hear the song “Help Me Rhonda” without laughing…

  2. I can see it now – Linda, across the street at the neighbors trying to explain that she didn’t back into their car on the driveway, the dog did it. One of my little furries is only capable of unzipping purses and removing objects with a particular fondness for pens. She needs some EmmaLou training sessions.:)

  3. Trying to escape or…

    It was probably good that you were able to talk and explain it to these people, they may have thought that either you or Devoted Spouce making an obsene phone call to them…try explaining that one to the police!

    MTAE – We would both be locked up just for laughing too hard – I’m wondering what the lady told her husband when she hung up — “George, I think she said it was the dog calling??” “Sure, Gladys, now put the Scotch bottle back in the cupboard.”

  4. I’m jealous! My doxie is no where near that talented. Other than sitting up and begging his next best talent is sleeping. No excitement for us, dang it!

    Hey D – well he’s one up on EmmaLou; she can’t sit up – she just falls over when she trys it! 🙂

  5. LOL Emma Lou will be wanting her own phone next..lol!
    Cute story!

    Merri – actually I think she’s pondering over her own sewing station — she’s been into all my sewing notions and she loves to chew elastic and any type of trim! EmmaLou may be the next superstar in fashion design!! 🙂

  6. Linda,
    EmmaLou sounds a lot like my sister’s one bijon frise, Frosty. He is such a sweety compared to his partner in crime that you feel he could never do anything wrong. Occasionally he does, according to my sister. When this happens, Frosty calls me to remind him of his Lawyer’s phone number……oh yes he always tells me to let my sister know he is on the verge of calling and bringing charges if she is ticked!! Always stops her!

    If EmmaLou wants to call me please give her the pink phone!

    Wonderful story!!
    Thanks Frank

    Frank – I’ll be sure and check my cell phone charges very closely this month — there’s no telling just who EmmaLou may be chatting with behind my back — I can see it now; she’s going to need her own minutes! 🙂

  7. I am jealous – the best either one of my dogs can do is dig in the garbage if the opportunity presents itself. You are so lucky! Sheri

    Hmmm, I’m not sure about the lucky part, Sheri — sometimes I think God sent EmmaLou specifically to teach me patience! 🙂

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