In all my years on this earth, I never thought I would live to see the day when I said these words, “I’m so sorry but my dog accidentally dialed the wrong number.”
It was a quiet evening – I was spending time on my studies in my home office/crap room and I was being kept company by my trusty canine companion, EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer. In anticipation of a call from a friend of mine, I had my little pink cell phone sitting close by.
As I was typing away on a school paper, I thought I heard voices. Here I am studying theology, and I’m hearing voices. I’m thinking to myself, “didn’t they burn people at the stake for stuff like this?” Hmmm… As I’m listening closer to see if God is actually trying to get in touch with me, I see out of the corner of my eye a furry object walking by with something pink hanging out of her mouth.
EmmaLou has my cell phone…she has managed to flip it open, and a voice is coming out of the phone; a voice I could distinctly hear saying, “Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?” Yes, my dog is now calling strangers on my cell phone and breathing heavily into the phone. I managed to get the phone out of her nasty dog grip and that’s when I found myself saying those amazing words…”I’m sorry, but my dog accidentally dialed the wrong number.” Amazingly, the person on the other end of this ridiculous conversation actually said in reply, “That’s okay, no problem.”
No problem?? No problem?? EmmaLou being able to actually connect with someone on a cell phone is akin to the infinite monkey theorem which states (as we all have heard) that monkeys hitting keys on a keypad given an infinite amount of time will turn out something on the order of Shakespeare’s Hamlet – or something like that. Now we have the EmmaLou theorem which states anything in the grip of EmmaLou has the ability given no time at all to embarrass and disturb the heck out of me.
EmmaLou is now on my “close-watch” list. I’ve hidden my car keys just in case…