If Those Walls Could Talk

Did I mention our friend, Bob, the hill-dweller, in West Virginia lives alone? Well, sort of alone. He has lots and lots of company in his house but not much conversation takes place.

Bob is an avid hunter and has traveled the world in search of game. Now, I’m generally not too bothered by hunters. It’s not like Bob doesn’t use what he kills — he brings home meat, he stuffs the body parts to hang as wall art, and he uses the skins as table coverings and some even function as bed covers. (Yes, there was an animal skin on my bed. Can I just say…ewwww??) So, he’s certainly not wasteful.

I’ve heard the hunter arguments and I know “they have to thin the herds.” I accept that. I’ve even been known to eat venison if it’s prepared correctly. Just don’t ask me to do the killing. I’m aware that if I were truly starving in the wilderness somewhere I would quickly beat the crap out of the first critter that got close enough to me so I could eat. I don’t dispute that. But I don’t consider hunting a very fair sport. A sport involves things like golf balls, or badminton rackets. A sport is something you participate in for fun. What is the fun in hunting? There shouldn’t be blood, gore, and death in a sport activity unless Bubba decides to smack you in the face with the bat. Those participating in the sport are usually equal in sporting equipment; all the players are suitably tricked out with the accoutrements of their sport. If one hunts for sport — to make this truly sporting, one should also arm the prey. In my humble opinion, hunting is nothing but the glorification of man’s ability to kill something. I can kill a spider but I wouldn’t mount it on my living room wall to show my hunting prowess.

Anyway, some of you know I’m not the world’s best sleeper. I tend to wake up and do something else for awhile until I’m sleepy once more. Now, when you are staying at someone else’s home, insomnia can present some problems. Sure enough, I woke up Saturday night and couldn’t fall back asleep. I tiptoed down the hallway to the basement stairs, down the stairs, flipped on the light, and prepared to watch a little tv. Everywhere I looked there was a deer looking back at me. I was outnumbered. I imagined them talking to each other and the difficulty in talking to your neighbor on the wall when you couldn’t exactly turn your head. I found I was having deep deer conversations and then I noticed their eyes seemed to follow me wherever I went in the room. It wasn’t long before I bade them goodnight and trucked back to the safety of my bed.

For Bob, animal pieces parts are appropriate home decor. For me, I’ll stick to framed landscapes for my walls and cotton tablecloths for my tables.


6 thoughts on “If Those Walls Could Talk

  1. That’s why I like to fish. They have a chance, I don’t know for sure where they are hiding and I can throw them back and start all over again. No killing, lots of fun. Don’t care for hunting either and really don’t like critters on the walls. I guess it’s basically a guy thing.

  2. Hmmm, Linda, sounds like one of those trips you want to rush back to again and again. And in your other post when you describe the hills I remember them well on the east coast. Now deer heads on the walls are not the thing I want to see. Yes, I bet those big brown eyes did seem to follow you.

    Well thank goodness you home!!
    My best, Frank

  3. Hey MTAE – Okay I tried the knife in the mouth routine and it truly got in the way of my chewing gum – how annoying — I can do the bare hands trick I’m sure, but I don’t know how far I want to take this…there is the $30 manicure to consider…

  4. Hi Frank – Ya know, I love the stuffin’ outta my hubby’s friend – but I can’t take the deer faces. Deer are some of my favorite creatures and seeing them as trophies truly bothered me. Hunt it, kill it, eat it, ok — but don’t hang it on the wall for all to ogle. Not natural. Not necessary. Hugs, Linda

  5. I agree with you. A friend I work with showed me her vacation pics. She went to see her brother, a taxidermist, and apparently, a darn good one. He does exotics from hunts in Africa, and it’s a huge business for him that he runs in a shop that is attached to his home. He doesn’t even hunt. Beautiful creatures, but disturbing all at the same time. Not just heads, but full bodies, i.e. lions & grizzlies in attack poses, etc. I was a bit shocked. No denying the beauty and artistry, but I sure couldn’t sleep there!

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