Alright, Who’s Got the Laptop?

Some things in life are sacrosanct, sacred, inviolable and not easily shared, regardless if you are married and fall under the umbrella of “the two shall become one.”  The two shall be one concept has some exceptions. 

There are big exceptions and small exceptions.  Big exceptions include personal toiletries.  If you’ve ever had to say to your husband, “Get your hands off my eyeliner,” you’ve hit one of those big exceptions.  Likewise, if you are getting ready for a day at the pool and your new one-piece bathing suit is in your husband’s gym bag, you’ve likely hit another big exception. 

Small exceptions might include squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle, or squeezing the toothpaste up from the end of the tube. Then there is the dilemma of “seat up, seat down” which can be a real dealbreaker in some homes, especially in the middle of the night.  No woman likes to get a butt-dunking.  Trust me. 

Our household is going through a rough patch right now involving one of those sacred parts of marriage; computer usage.  My computer is new and not paid-off yet.  Devoted Spouse’s computer has gone comatose and in all likelihood cannot be revived.  Until he can replace his laptop, he is using mine. And therein lies the issue of what is sacred and should not be shared.

In my opinion, using a spouse’s computer is akin to sharing a toothbrush. It probably won’t kill me, but I don’t find it enjoyable.  You must understand, too, that Devoted Spouse is just this side of a twelve-step program for internet news junkies.  His computer is on all the time and he reads every piece of news from all the major networks, AP, Reuters, CNN, BBC, and even the Jerusalem Post.  When the news isn’t on his screen, he’s informing himself of the latest updates in his gun world.  And don’t get me started on the joke sites he frequently visits — one can hear him laughing throughout the house.  So, when he looks at me with his puppy-dog eyes and asks can he use my laptop, of course I’m going to say yes, but inside my head I’m screaming, “NO, NO, you’ll break it –I just got it — whine, whine — I need it for school — you’ll make it overheat — it will get viruses from all your joke sites.” 

Hopefully this will be resolved soon as Devoted Spouse is doing dedicated field research in hopes of replacing his laptop quickly.  I need it resolved quickly, too, before he views my internet history and deletes all my good shopping sites. 


6 thoughts on “Alright, Who’s Got the Laptop?

  1. This is off limits. We have a desktop computers set up in a common parts of the house for situations like this. I take our old beatdown desktops and get them up and running with internet access in various parts of the house. I even have one wired into the living room TV. But I do not touch her computer and she doesn’t touch mine.

    I don’t use her toothbrush…

  2. This has certainly been an experience in patience and loving kindness – his, not mine. 🙂

  3. Oh, Oh, this is serious. You better bring out the big guns. My sister goes through this all the time with her husband that is a game junkie. Just make sure you have good security! You never know what will come for a visit.


  4. Hi Frank – It’s better today because he’s going out to buy his new laptop. Plus, last night my classes were loaded on the web and he knows that school comes first – so I get first dibs on my laptop!!

  5. I bought my husband a laptop for Christmas. Three kids are constantly jockeying for MY desktop. So now that my job is out there in cyberworld, it was a natural to use his…..a little more and a little more. He jokes and asked me is it’s OK to use HIS computer…….what a great guy. Sheri

  6. Hey Sheri – We’re lucky, huh? Mine has his new laptop and I’ve been eyeing it … 🙂

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