I’m feeling a bit peckish today – a result of my neverending saga of weight woes, no doubt. A few weeks ago I took not just a family vacation, but a vacation from dieting. Oh it was wonderful to not spend every waking moment worrying about every carb I was shoving in my mouth. Interestingly enough, when given the option of overeating, I actually chose to stop when I was full. What a new concept; stop eating when you’re full. However, some of those “full” feelings came from some not-so-healthy food choices; cookies, pasta, and bacon — oh, how I love bacon. As I write this post, the aroma of slowly-frying bacon is wafting through the room, gently tickling my senses with the delightful smell of rendered pork pieces-parts. Devoted Spouse is fixing breakfast as I type away. He’s having bacon and cheese-toast. Yum. I, on the other hand, scarfed down a Jenny Craig diet banana nut muffin. Yes, indeed, I’m just stuffed to the gills from that measly concoction with its 3 lonely walnut morsels on top of a meager muffin.
Anyway…when I finally got back on the old diet horse, I discovered I had gained 3.5 pounds. OMG – 34 hard-fought pounds lost and 3.5 of them had slithered their way back onto my thighs. It was devastating. I got off the bathroom scales and wanted to throw them (and my diet) out the window. To spend months working off the weight and in a couple of weeks put 3.5 pounds back on. Grrrr.
So back to the diet I go with a renewed sense of the goal — a slimmer me. In the meantime, I simply have to accept this love/hate relationship I currently have with food and find a way to stop making food the center of my universe. What scares me a bit is this is becoming almost an obsession with me – I am constantly thinking about what I can eat vs. what I want to eat. Emotions are triggering some bad choices, too. It’s easy to eat your way to happiness but it never satifies you the way you think it will.
I’m seriously considering finding a support group – maybe something like Overeaters Anonymous. There must be other people like me who have difficulty saying “no” to unhealthy food. If any of you reading have had success with a group like this, please leave me a comment. I’d like to know if this is a good idea or not.
Is it lunch time yet?