What a Yummy Chamois

Monday is Devoted Spouse’s birthday. His birthday last year was a big one; we had quite the party. This year we are still going to celebrate, but not quite as lavishly. With that in mind, I went shopping yesterday and found all sorts of little goodies to wrap up.

Sunday evening I started to wrap presents on the dining room table. It was almost time for the new HGTV show Design Star, so I left what I hadn’t wrapped in bags on the floor of the dining room and off I went upstairs to watch the show (which I wasn’t very impressed by, but that’s another story).

Halfway through the show, Devoted Spouse arrives upstairs carrying something in his hand that looks like a dead animal skin (okay, the lights in the bedroom were on very low and I was not paying much attention to him because I was watching Vern Yip drill new designers.) Yes, indeed, it was a handful of dead skin — it was the remains of a chamois cloth I had left in one of the bags downstairs in the dining room yet to be wrapped. EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer, strikes yet again.

I couldn’t believe it. The dog had eaten at least one third of this cloth. First question, “Why?” Answer: Because she can. I didn’t know whether to be angry with her (my usual reaction) or to worry about what that substance would do in her stomach. After I calmed down a bit I realized that it was, once again, entirely my fault. I’m the one who left the chamois in the bag on the floor, not realizing just what a chamois is and why it would appeal to EmmaLou, canine masticator extraordinaire.

So I looked up the word “chamois” in the dictionary and found this: “an agile, goatlike antelope, now rare in some areas.” Nah, that can’t possibly be what I bought. The other definition was: a soft, pliable leather from any of various skins dressed with oil, especially fish oil, originally prepared from the skin of the chamois, used as a polishing cloth.” Well, ick, that definition wasn’t much better but now I understand why the dog found this piece of treasure and chewed it to within an inch of its life. I also understand why I will never buy another chamois, whether or not Devoted Spouse claims it sucks up water off the hood of his car like nobody’s business. I’m afraid he’ll have to settle for paper towels instead of the chamois.

As for EmmaLou…she’ll live to see another day, but I have a sneaking suspicion she’s going to have a colossal case of puppy gas from that chamois snack!

Happy Birthday swee’pea…

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