I Feel Better Knowing This

The officials at the Hamilton County, Ohio jail just don’t have enough to do these days. So they have taken on the subject of a dress code for jail visitors and made some important changes to keep their rules more in line with those of state prisons. From now on visitors will be required to wear underwear. I’m not making this up. The rules have been amended to include requiring all guests to not only wear shirts and shoes, but also to wear underwear. Now, I’m not sure what methods they have in place for checking that visitors are wearing underwear, but this rule alone will be enough to take the Hamilton County jail off my list of Ohio day trips. No jail matron is taking a peek under my skort. A Sheriff’s spokesman stated that the dress code had become somewhat of a problem in recent years what with all the young mens’ pants hanging well below their waists and so many bellies being bare. Something had to be done to ensure that clothing is not too revealing. Apparently, upper thighs must also be concealed. For some visitors, that might be a problem. Spandex can only hide so much you know. In my opinion skimpy attire is a much better dress code — less places to hide weapons or that all-important jail breaking implement; the file. Anyway…these new dress rules take effect in June. So, if you wish to visit anyone at the Hamilton County, OH jail and you plan on showing anything like cleavage, or your belly button, or that impressive back tattoo, better get there soon.

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