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This just in:  A driver in Connecticut charged with speeding claimed he lost control of his car when he dropped an Oreo cookie he had just dunked in a cup of milk.  I stand with the accused on this one.  Losing control of one’s car is nothing compared with losing control of an already-dunked and wonderfully mushy-to-the-point-of-almost-falling-apart Oreo. 

Another traffic story out of Iowa tells of a Donut Delite van being pursued by police at speeds of 100 mph.  Never, never get between a hungry officer of the law and his morning cruller. 

The owners of the Illinois-shaped cornflake finally sold it on eBay for $1,350.  Apparently the buyer is going to put it in a traveling museum.  I only hope the museum makes a stop close by my town.  I once had a Cheeto that resembled David Copperfield but EmmaLou the Golden Destroyer ate it.  She can make things disappear, too. 

An article on how cars are named got my attention.  It states a car company may pay up to $50,000 for a product name.  I could use $50,000.  How hard can it be to come up with a name?  Let’s see…Thunderbird; no that’s taken.  Mustang?  Nope, done that.  Beetle, nah.  I know — Lemur.  I’d drive a Lemur; wouldn’t you?  Lemur is a much cooler name than Yaris or Prius.  What the heck is a Prius anyway?  Though, you might have to be careful not to drive your Lemur too close to a cliff; no, wait, that’s a Lemming.  Nevermind. 

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