One From Column A and Two From Column B

ImageI recently read a book; a psychological thriller I later learned.  While it was well written, I didn’t like it.  I didn’t like it at all.  Why?  Because it was about the horrible mind games people can play with each other.  I like psychological thrillers, mind you.  I really enjoyed all the Girl With Dragon Tattoo, etc.; and they were pretty rough books.

But this particular book made me so sad because it dealt with a married couple who simply could do nothing but hurt each other in new and vicious ways.

You see…I love the stuffin’ outta Devoted Spouse.  Here’s just one reason:  He labels our Chinese take-out boxes with our initials so when I want to finish what I ordered, I don’t have to waste time opening all the boxes.

So, in a way, reading the terrible book was good for me because it reminded me how loved I am!  sigh…

Chatty Cathy

image courtesy of blogs.edweek.org

Devoted Spouse is such a sweet, lovable, tolerant man.  He took me out for breakfast the other day.  This was after I had consumed about 3 nice-sized mugs of coffee at the house.  At breakfast we were served a piping hot thermos of yummy, strong coffee.  I promptly drank several more mugs-full.  Breakfast was a happy time.

On the drive home, I couldn’t shut up.  One story after another…I kept up a running commentary on my life.  Devoted Spouse sat there taking it all in.  Realizing what was happening I casually threw in…”I can’t seem to shut up.”  Dear Devoted Spouse replied, “I find you delightfully entertaining.”  And he was smiling.

Wow…am I blessed or what?!

After that comment…yeah, I kept on prattling and he sat there with a smile on his face…sigh

As Time Goes By

pic courtesy of weddingcakedesigns.info

Today I celebrate 28 years of wedded bliss to Devoted Spouse.  Time sure does fly.  I can’t believe it’s been that many years.  And they said it wouldn’t last…just kidding.

You see each other every day and you never notice the changes — here’s an old pic from our wedding – I can’t believe the two people in the middle of the shot are us!  LOL

I hope we have another happy, healthy 28 years!  Especially since he gives me great blogging material.  ;)  That’s it kids – nothing hilarious today – just wanted to share this special day with you.  {Hugs}

7 Worst Things to Say to Someone Who Just Got Dumped

Since I am still recovering from a nasty cold and feeling a bit lazy in the blog-writing area, I’m taking advantage of one of my favorite websites which gives suggestions on creative writing prompts.  This prompt was to quickly jot down 7 worst things to say to someone who just got dumped.  Please don’t expect too much – as I said my cold is interfering with my ability to be creative on any level today!

7 Worst Things to Say to a Person Who Just Got Dumped

1.  There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

2. Well, he was a little out of your league, wasn’t he?

3.  I guess now I can tell you we used to see him at Applebee’s with Susie and they were real close.

4.  Maybe you should have lost that last 10 pounds.

5.  Being alone can be fun – just think of all the books you now have time to read.

6.  Have you considered having that wart on your face removed?  I hear they do wonders with lasers these days.

7.  So you won’t mind then that I accepted a date with him for this Friday night?

How Do I Love My Husband?

why_do_i_love_my_husband

wedding-couple1Delaney tagged me with this one – I need to blog about how I love my hubs (or Devoted Spouse as I refer to him).  I agree with her that it’s also a case of “why” not just “how”.  I thought this would be pretty simple, but it isn’t because there is so much to consider.  Love is a big four letter word.  So please hang in there with me; this is a long posting.

It is obvious that I love him from the bottom of my cute little tootsies for the tremendous personal care he has given me over the past 9 long weeks of my whining and being generally pitiful during recovery from my shoulder injury.  He has done things spouses shouldn’t have to do, but God love his heart for never complaining.  We’ve spoken quite enough about this topic so I will address it no further.

Devoted Spouse literally marched into my life over 25 years ago when I was working at the Pentagon..  He was an Air Force Major who had just been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel and he just strutted his perfectly tailored uniformed butt into my office like he was General Patton himself (no offense Devoted Spouse).  I thought he was cute, but he never smiled and so I labeled him stoic.  Little did I know he had a wicked sense of humor and the biggest heart in the world.  One day he sat down across from my desk and told me one of the dirtiest (and funniest) jokes I had ever heard – he never cracked a smile – and I couldn’t contain myself – I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants.  Then he smiled.  For some reason that was the moment our fates were sealed – we simply became best friends. We were both swept off our feet and neither one of us ever stood a chance!

How do I love him?  Well, I tell him constantly – in fact we have this rather sickeningly sweet little habit that when we are out to eat together whoever buys a meal thanks the other one for the meal and then quickly follows that with “I love you”.  It became such a habit with me that one day I had lunch with one of my pastors (who kindly picked up the bill) and as we exited the restaurant I looked at him and said (automatically), “Thank you for my lunch, Scott, I love you.”  I quickly explained my slight faux pas and where the automatic response came from and I think he realized then and there I was just a bit cracked in the head.  Oh well.  Back to Devoted Spouse.

My husband is a quiet man.  He speaks when he has something to say.  I, on the other hand, am often difficult to shut up.  I’m loud, obnoxious, opinionated, and passionate about issues in which I believe. We make an interesting couple.  I yammer away and he nods his head at all the right times.  He spends his life doing whatever he possibly can to ensure that I am happy. It doesn’t matter what it is I need, he finds a way to provide it for me. I cannot recall a time the word “no” ever came out of his mouth. (Except maybe when I tried to feed him a dish that had eggs and mushrooms.)

I absolutely adore him.  I know that he adores me too – it shows in his eyes.    He also has a wicked sense of humor – the kind that quietly sneaks up on you and moments after he’s quietly said something witty you realize just how funny it was and you can’t help but smile, giggle, or laugh outrageously.  This sense of humor sometimes is difficult to contend with when we are in church.

Devoted Spouse is the most generous person I have ever known.  In fact I must be careful in letting known something I would like, because if he gets wind of it, I receive it, whether or not we can afford it.  Case in point – we once were on the way to the grocery store to buy some frozen broccoli for a casserole I needed to make to take to a party.  We drove by a car dealership and I said out loud, “Oh, look at that adorable little red pickup truck.”  He turned the car into the lot and we ended up coming home with the most expensive box of frozen broccoli ever made.

For over 25 years now we have spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with each other (for the most part) with the exception of some of his Active Duty time when he was away.  When he retired I also went to work at his new company and he ended up being my manager.  It was wonderful – and we spent the better part of 10 or 12 years doing that.  Now we are both retired (okay, he retired, I just quit) and we are still constantly together.  I tell people we are attached at the hip.  I can’t imagine life any other way.

So how do I love him?  I love him by doing the best I can to make him happy, by respecting his opinions, his feelings and his space and by trying not to be too disrespectful to the (awful) music he enjoys or roll my eyes when he laughs at Larry the Cable Guy (ugh).   I love him by encouraging him when he needs encouragement and by patting him on the back when he’s made me proud.  And I love him most because he’s never once uttered the word “yes” when I asked him “Honey, does this make me look fat?”

Now Delaney tells me I must tag three others to tell their story so I’m tagging my girlfriends:

Stepping Thru
Smart Mouth Broad
The Good the Bad and the Ugly

He’s Not That Into You?

dinner

We hear much about body language these days.  There’s even a show on tv now called Lie to Me about some guy who studies body language and can tell not only when someone is lying but why.  I believe seeing your sweetie somewhere he shouldn’t be with some silicone-infused love puppy, watching the sweat pouring off his forehead and his eyes looking everywhere for a means of escape as you approach, is a good indicator he is lying.   As for why, at that pivotal point in your relationship, who gives a  fat  fuzzy rat’s patootie why?

According to Cosmopolitan magazine when your man sits, you should take a mental picture and remember certain cues about his body language.  For example, if he’s taking up alot of space with his arms out and his legs loosely crossed, that’s an indication he’s confident.  Now, if he happens to be in a beer-stained fake corduroy recliner at the time, that body language indicates a sporting event is about to come on the tube and you should forget about romance for the near future.   If he is in this sprawled-out position while you are on a date, you can bet he’s working on rearranging that thong he’s wearing for the first time and he doesn’t want you to notice.   Cosmo adds if while he”s in this position his hands are crossed in his lap, he may not be as confident as he appears.   I’m thinking if his hands are crossed in his lap, either 1) he’s waiting for you to grab the check, or 2) there’s a mustard stain there somewhere.  Devoted Spouse is a perfect case of reason #2.  Mustard attaches to his clothes like a magnet to a refrigerator door.  In fact, when we go out he is no longer allowed near that particular condiment.  But that’s another story.

The body language experts further state that if your date is leaning forward like he’s ready to take action that means he likes what you’re saying.  From personal experience, I can tell you if he’s leaning forward like he’s ready to take action, there’s a margarita and some nachos about to make an unexpected appearance and you should quickly move your chair to one side.

Body language — it can prove he’s into you or he’s in gastrointestinal distress.  You be the judge.