Food Glorious Food

pic courtesy of life123.com

Will someone please explain to me why here in the Midwest restaurants think cole slaw is an appetizer?  Every time DS and I go to one of the family restaurants in this area, if I order cole slaw as a side, it arrives prior to my meal.  Do they think it’s a first course?  I don’t know about you, but I like my cole slaw WITH my meal.  A “side” accompanies the meal, yes?  just sayin’.

Do you ever give in to indulgence and order that honkin’ huge milkshake…you know, the one with gobs of whipped cream?  Oh puhleeze, you know you do.  My question is why do they fill the plastic cups so full and add that strange circular top with the opening for a straw, so that by the time you put the milkshake in your cup container, it has spilled all over you, and flows like a volcano all throughout the car? I think the server behind that little glass window gets extra points if this happens to the customer.  “Hey! Got another one wet!” Why can’t they make a top that fits correctly?  Grrrrr.

I always thought Bob Evans made the best pancakes.  Plus they’re close to my house.  Less gas money.  I went for breakfast last week while Devoted Spouse was out doing his church gig.  I ordered blueberry pancakes, my personal fav.  I got about halfway through and realized these pancakes were getting soggier and soggier and it wasn’t the syrup.  I was putting batter on my fork.  Ack.  No thanks.  Yes, got a refund.  Politely declined offer of more pancakes.

Speaking of barbecue…well sort of.  Went to a local barbecue restaurant and ordered Texas brisket.  Having not eaten brisket, Texas or otherwise, I was quite excited to see what it was all about.  Imagine my disgust when a plate was put in front of me swimming in grease with overdone meat covered with fat.  It was nasty.  I didn’t eat it.  I was surprised anyone would serve that.  When the waitress asked me about it, I explained that I didn’t favor a meal that is swimming on my plate.  She apologized all over me, offered to replace it (I had lost my appetite by then), and left to get a refill on my unsweetened iced tea.  The tea arrived and it was sweetened.  The waitress disappeared.  Devoted Spouse contentedly munched his pulled pork sandwich.  The owner came over, apologizing repeatedly and backpedaling on why I was given such a nasty piece of meat.  Turns out I received the “end” and nobody thought to actually look at the plate and see what they were serving to a customer.  He offered a better piece of brisket.  I declined.  He offered a pound of pulled pork for me to take home.  I declined.  He offered me a free beverage.  I not only declined, but let him know the one I had was not what I ordered.  He comped the check.  That’s what he should have done to begin with.  Devoted Spouse went home with a happy tummy.  I stopped for ice cream…sigh…

3 Top Ways to Save Money Shopping!

pic from youmustbetrippin.com

Yes!  You, too, can save tons of dollars while shopping.  I discovered these top 3 ways to save money shopping, now YOU can too!!

1. Wear shoes that hurt.

I was out running errands the other day and spotted a new Home Goods store in the neighborhood.  I walked in, decided I wanted to peruse before I got a big basket.  By the time I was done perusing, my feet were killing me.  I had one small item.  It was too far to go back to the very front of the store, get a basket, then hobble back to the bedding department.  So I checked out with my one small item.  Saved aproximately $200.00.  You can too!

2.  Skip the basket.

Building on story above, go into any large store without a basket.  Roam around until you are at the back of the store, you’re tired, cranky, and your blood sugar is approaching the single digits.  You will easily choose to come back another day when you feel better…and have a basket.  $$ saved?  Easily a mortgage payment.

3.  Reorganize your purse before you go out.

If you take 10 minutes to reorganize your purse and wallet before leaving home, I guarantee you will save money!  How?  By taking out your checkbook and your credit cards & realizing you couldn’t possibly need that much cash in your wallet.  Grab your American Express Card and off you go to the big stores.  Oh yeah…nobody uses American Express anymore.  $$ saved?  Maybe enough for a smart car!

See?  Just a few simple tips and you, too, will be saving tons of money!  Now take that savings and go buy lottery tickets…sigh…

Sure, Jesus Had a Pet

DISCLAIMER:  The following may be offensive to some – no disrespect is intended.  This is just a blog, don’t get riled up about it.

I know…I tell you I’m back and then I disappear again.  This seems to be the year of the ADD blogger.  Not that I haven’t been busy with other projects, mind you.

I’m on a quest to understand my religion (Christianity).  Sometimes it’s good to shake things up a bit.  That’s when insights occur, at least in my life.  So, I’ve been studying the life of Jesus in a feeble attempt to know Him better.  Churches spend a lot of time on what we should do and hammer into us that Jesus was the Son of God, human and divine.  He had a soft spot in his heart for the poor and oppressed, the widows, children, etc.  We’ve all heard it over and over.  We have artistic renderings of a fairly white man with longish hair and a scruffy beard, wearing robes and sandals.  He’s always very clean. The pictures don’t look much like a middle eastern man, but what do I know about art?

I have my own picture and I don’t mean to be sacrilegious here or disrespectful in any way.  I’m just trying to get my head around what Yeshua (Jesus) was like.  There are few, if any, records of his childhood up until about 12 or so.  And then we have the story of Jesus being lost from his folks and turning up in a temple discussing life with the Rabbis.  Okay.  I know when I was 12 I was still playing with dolls, but then, I wasn’t divine either.  Oh, I had a tiara, but, oh nevermind.

After much reading on first century second Temple Jews, their culture and life, I’ve come to some conclusions myself on Jesus’ early years.  I think he was like any other kid who just wandered around in the village or community hanging out with his buds.  He probably got dirty playing some type of stick ball and Mary would yell at Him to get back into the house and wash up for supper. I wondered if she used the phrase, “Oh for Heaven’s sake, Jesus!”  Probably not.  I imagine Him with a squeaky voice prior to puberty and then that silly little wispy mustache that guys are so proud of as they mature.  We know He had lots of facial hair…it’s in all the pictures shown in Sunday School.

The bible never talks about pets.  That bothers me somewhat.  These people worked hard; they had no tv or video games for entertainment.  Oh, once a month or so the Romans might toss somebody in a lion pit and everyone would cheer, eat hot dogs and then go home.  But daily entertainment was slim.  I think they had to have had a pet or two along the way.  Maybe some families had a fish, maybe an Egyptian family transferring in brought a cat with them.  Why not have some dogs running around?

I’m thinking even Jesus as a kid had a dog of his own.  There just aren’t any stories in the bible about a boy and his dog.  I think the church fathers got together as they were discussing canon and said, “Absolutely not!  No stories about Jesus’ dog – it makes Him too human.”  The true story is they were afraid people wouldn’t understand or maybe get some of the stories twisted.  You see, Jesus did have a dog, a nasty cur He named Demon.  Demon had a bladder issue and frequently other families in the village (remember they didn’t have glass windows in their homes) would hear Jesus trying to deal with his dog’s problem by yelling “OUT, Demon, OUT!”  You know how stories are passed down through the generations.

Or maybe not…sigh…

The Stuff Headaches are Made Of

There I was reclining happily in bed with my Darth Vader-masked spouse by my side and my trusty canine at my feet.  Life was good.  I was soaking up the latest Kellerman mystery, when I came upon a word that surprised me.  The author said something like this…”the apartment complex was shaped like a rhombus.”  I nudged the masked wonder next to me in the ribs and pointed to the word “rhombus” on my Kindle and said to him, “Huh?  What’s that?”  Devoted Spouse responded, “It’s a geometric shape.”  I said, “Hmmm, I thought it was a monkey.”  “No,” Devoted Spouse replied, “that’s a rhesus.”  “No, I said, “that’s a peanut butter/chocolate candy.”  This went on for awhile.  He put his CPAP mask back on and I was on my own again.

I used the little pointer thingy on my Kindle to space down to the word “rhombus” and the definition was “parallelogram.”  Well, now we’re talking.  I remember from 10th grade Geometry what a parallelogram is.  I read on.  I went back to the word “rhombus.”  I stopped reading and imagined in my odd little head a building shaped like a parallelogram.  It made no sense.  I leaned over the masked man and waving my arms to get his attention, I yelled, “This makes no sense!”  He un-masked and rolled his eyes.  I told him I understood a parallelogram.  “So a rhombus is a type of parallelogram?” I asked.  “I still don’t really get this.”   He got out of bed, walked around to my side, reached into the nightstand, got out paper and pen, and proceeded to draw a parallelogram for me.  “Aha!” I proclaimed.  “There’s no way on God’s green earth that an apartment building would look like that…it would fall over on itself.  What a stupid description!”

I returned to my reading knowing full well the apartment building in question looked exactly as I pictured it in my mind and not as the author described it.  Devoted Spouse masked up again, EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer put her head back down, and life was good…sigh…

Wassup?

pic courtesy of cheezburger.com

So…didja think I’d never return?  Shoot, I’m still behind and it’s been over a month.  Ack.

Lemme catch y’all up.  It’s been a long winter, BUT, here in Ohio it’s been a mild and rather warm winter.  In fact, my flowers are up and the birds are chirping.  Oh yeah, weeds are up, too.  File that under ‘who cares’…  I don’t do yard work.  lol snort

I deactivated my Twitter account not long ago.  GASP you say…yeah I’m done on da Twittah channel.  Too much chatter…or is that chatteh?  Whatev…

Those in the know can find me on FB blabbering away.

I’m still behind in everything…never did get those Christmas cards out.  Thought about New Year cards and then decided to ignore that thought.  Gah.  Had some great New Year’s resolutions that pretty much bit the dust.  Gah.  Was gonna clean out the basement…then the furnace blower broke (on a relatively new furnace!) and I went back to my procrastinating ways.  Yeah, I’m a procrastinator.  One of these days I’ll find a support group.  Maybe later…

Devoted Spouse is doing his thing (warming his belly with his laptop)…EmmaLou,Golden Destroyer, just celebrated her 8th birthday.  The trash can was upended in her honor.

Buffy the Mane Slayer chopped off about 4-5 inches of my gorgeous red locks recently.  What a time difference in my morning routine  – long hair is for the very young and those whose shoulders don’t ache.

I’m still here…a little older and no wiser at all.  With some luck, I’ll be back in humorous shape soon…sigh…

Stop the Year and Let Me Catch Up

Welcome to the New Year.  I  am a few weeks into the old year still.  My short term memory hasn’t caught up to my long term memory and my short term memory, frankly, is falling down on the job.

EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer, gets a monthly pill for heartworm and flea control.  She should have taken them the first of January; I remembered them this morning, the 5th, 6th of January.  Wait…what day is this again?  Ack.

I’m working on a project that should have been finished at least one to two weeks ago to give me adequate time to prepare for the next phase.  Oh yeah, I haven’t started it yet.  I have a new solitaire game on my computer and it keeps calling my name.

Never did get those awful dents on my relatively new car pounded out…you know, the ones caused by that freak hail storm, oh, I dunno, how many months ago (?) There’s  a voicemail on my phone from the lady at the auto body shop.  I should probably do something about that.   Need to get rid of that phone…

Lest you think it’s just me, allow me to relay what happened to Devoted Spouse the other day…  We have been attending the same church for almost  7 years now.  We go to the same service regularly, always arriving a few minutes early to grab some coffee and chat w/friends.  Devoted Spouse is going to be volunteering his time at the computer check-in station for a specific upcoming event and needs to be trained.  In emails with one of our pastors, he agreed to arrive at church a little earlier and get some valuable OJT.  He told the pastor he would be there at 9:30 prior to the 10:00 service.  The problem is this church HAS no 10:00 service at our location.  He knew this and yet that’s what he emailed.  Now our pastor thinks Devoted Spouse is certifiable.  I felt better, though.  It’s not just me.

I want to speak with whoever is in charge of time and ask them kindly to hold things for a few weeks until I can catch up.  Then there’s that issue of starting fresh I need to contend with.  Maybe after the New Year…sigh…

Did Someone Mention New Year’s Resolutions?

Here’s hoping y’all had a fabulous Christmas, Hannukah, etc.  I admit to being glad this year is almost over.  I don’t know about you, but I truly love new beginnings…the idea of starting fresh is so, well, refreshing.  Unfortunately, the novelty wears off in a few days and all the nifty ideas I have fall by the wayside.

Wayside…reminds me of weigh-side which reminds me it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions.  I haven’t made any in a long time.  Resolutions rarely are kept and once I fall off the resolution bandwagon, I never climb back on to reach the goal I set.  Why?  Like anyone else, I set those goals entirely too high and high expectations are rarely met.  In other words, you set yourself (or myself, as the case may be) up for failure.

This year…no resolutions.  However, I am cogitating on a few goals that I’d like to achieve.  Nothing too lofty, like be the write-in candidate for the Republican Party.  (snicker, snicker)  The whole Cronie family is going to strive for a healthier lifestyle in 2012 — yes, that includes little chubby EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.  Healthier Lifestyle is workable and doable.  Diet?  not so much.  Besides, we all know the world is going to be destroyed in December 2012 according to the Mayan calendar…so by October I figure we’ll be partying like it’s 1999.  no, wait, that’s not right..sigh…