Wassup?

pic courtesy of cheezburger.com

So…didja think I’d never return?  Shoot, I’m still behind and it’s been over a month.  Ack.

Lemme catch y’all up.  It’s been a long winter, BUT, here in Ohio it’s been a mild and rather warm winter.  In fact, my flowers are up and the birds are chirping.  Oh yeah, weeds are up, too.  File that under ‘who cares’…  I don’t do yard work.  lol snort

I deactivated my Twitter account not long ago.  GASP you say…yeah I’m done on da Twittah channel.  Too much chatter…or is that chatteh?  Whatev…

Those in the know can find me on FB blabbering away.

I’m still behind in everything…never did get those Christmas cards out.  Thought about New Year cards and then decided to ignore that thought.  Gah.  Had some great New Year’s resolutions that pretty much bit the dust.  Gah.  Was gonna clean out the basement…then the furnace blower broke (on a relatively new furnace!) and I went back to my procrastinating ways.  Yeah, I’m a procrastinator.  One of these days I’ll find a support group.  Maybe later…

Devoted Spouse is doing his thing (warming his belly with his laptop)…EmmaLou,Golden Destroyer, just celebrated her 8th birthday.  The trash can was upended in her honor.

Buffy the Mane Slayer chopped off about 4-5 inches of my gorgeous red locks recently.  What a time difference in my morning routine  – long hair is for the very young and those whose shoulders don’t ache.

I’m still here…a little older and no wiser at all.  With some luck, I’ll be back in humorous shape soon…sigh…

Did Someone Mention New Year’s Resolutions?

Here’s hoping y’all had a fabulous Christmas, Hannukah, etc.  I admit to being glad this year is almost over.  I don’t know about you, but I truly love new beginnings…the idea of starting fresh is so, well, refreshing.  Unfortunately, the novelty wears off in a few days and all the nifty ideas I have fall by the wayside.

Wayside…reminds me of weigh-side which reminds me it’s time for New Year’s Resolutions.  I haven’t made any in a long time.  Resolutions rarely are kept and once I fall off the resolution bandwagon, I never climb back on to reach the goal I set.  Why?  Like anyone else, I set those goals entirely too high and high expectations are rarely met.  In other words, you set yourself (or myself, as the case may be) up for failure.

This year…no resolutions.  However, I am cogitating on a few goals that I’d like to achieve.  Nothing too lofty, like be the write-in candidate for the Republican Party.  (snicker, snicker)  The whole Cronie family is going to strive for a healthier lifestyle in 2012 — yes, that includes little chubby EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.  Healthier Lifestyle is workable and doable.  Diet?  not so much.  Besides, we all know the world is going to be destroyed in December 2012 according to the Mayan calendar…so by October I figure we’ll be partying like it’s 1999.  no, wait, that’s not right..sigh…

How Do You Define World?

picture from abcnews.go.com

I admit to being something of a news junkie.  Most of my updates come from various online sources but, out of habit, Devoted Spouse and I still watch the evening network news on ABC.  We normally tune in to ABC World News with Diane Sawyer.  Note that’s World news.

What constitutes world news?  How do you define “world”?  When I think of the world, I picture places other than the United States; places such as Germany, the U.K., Canada, Australia, Papua New Guinea…

What we heard Sunday night was not world news.  It was 56 minutes of Hurricane Irene (which I grant you was important), a story on the No. 2 leader of Al-Qaeda being killed, and that the US won the Little League championship game against Japan.  Oh, wait, it was also noted that Hurricane Irene was actually continuing to travel north and would land eventually in Quebec which is Canada and that qualifies as a part of the world.  So for our world news hour we rack up the US, Canada, a place in the Middle East that wasn’t even named, and Japan (but only in conjunction with the US Little League team).  That’s a rather narrow world.

I’d like to hear the latest about France.  What’s going on in Siberia these days…is it even still called Siberia?  I don’t know.  Nobody at ABC ever reports on Russia.  How is that rascal Putin? Does Bangladesh still exist?  Whatever happened to the fighting in Sri Lanka?  Have we completely given up on the Sudan?  Has anyone heard about New Zealand lately?  Those places are part of the world and world news should be about the world.  Otherwise, it’s just ABC United States news with Diane Sawyer.

This is all Bill Clinton’s fault.  If he hadn’t made such a big deal over the definition of the word “is” way back in 2007, I never would have had to concern myself with this…sigh…

Are We Having Fun Yet?

image courtesy of puppetgov.com

We’re back to the TSA and that infernal full body scan this morning.  I noticed on one of the morning talk shows even a PILOT refused to go in that blasted machine so Bubba-in-the-back-room could peruse his jewels for hidden treasure..er…I mean weapons.

I’m with that pilot.  We are totally out of control on this security issue.  It will be a cold day in Hades before I let them do an “anonymous” full body scan on me.  Do we actually know the long term effects of this backscatter ray-machine-from-some-sci-fi-show?  Did anybody do any testing at all?  Will we suddenly wake up in 20 years and have grown an extra limb due to exposure in this machine?  Ack.

So now our other option is the “I’m-Taking-Extra-Care-And-Patting-You-Down-With-The-Front-Of-My-Hands-This-Time-And-I’m-Touching-Whatever-The-Blue-Blazes-I-Feel-Like-Because-You’re-Randomly-Cute.

You wonder why I bring up the Randomly Cute aspect?  TSA, the government and various pundits (I just like that word) are repeatedly assuring us that these new and improved but even more touchy-feely gropes will be done by the same sex as the traveler.  I’m sorry to have to be the one to bring this up…but has anyone thought about the gay angle here?  What if the very nice lady who is cupping my “C’s” happens to be gay?  Do ya think she might really enjoy her job?  Or this could happen to a gay man, too.  Or it could be the opposite — let the gay traveler “start” their day off right if you get my drift.  And I’m not trying to be patronizing here, I’m simply stating a fact.  And it’s a fact I’m not real thrilled about — I don’t want anyone groping me (except my husband and okay maybe Johnny Depp) but I sure don’t want someone who enjoys the company of another woman to be “fondling” my girls under the guise of security.  No.  Then it becomes not just extremely uncomfortable, AND an invasion of privacy, but a sexual attack.  And last time I heard…that was illegal.  Sheesh.

I’m never flying anywhere again…until these people come up with Plan C and just “wand” me…I will either drive to my destination or I will stay home.  But I won’t shut up about it — you can bet on that….yes I’m being slightly facetious…or am I?… sigh

Hurry This Offer Won’t Last Long!

image courtesy of Reuters

Okay, if it works for Fergie, it may work for me…so here’s the deal.  Gimme $75,000 and I’ll give you instant and total access to Devoted Spouse.  (makes that hand gesture indicating you should fork over some moolah).

For another measly $25,000 I will give you access to EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer.

For another $65,000 I might give you access to me.  Aw crap – you can already find me all kinds of other places.  Nevermind that one.

Wait…for the paltry sum of $10,000 I’ll give you access to my housepainter.  Now THAT’s a bargain.

Stupid royal twerp – and people are actually buying her childrens’ books???!!!  For the love of all that’s good in this world….kick her off the island.  Send her back to the UK and let the Queen put her in the Tower. 

And to think I always rather liked the spunkiness of Fergie…oh how the mighty have fallen.  Now…where’s my cash?  sigh…