Ever Shopped Till Your Shoes Dropped?

pic courtesy of insidesocial.com

Oh yes I did…shopped till my shoes dropped.  Actually, the shoes literally came apart at the stitching; one of my favorite pair of Clarks, too.  That’s a lot of shopping!

What brought this on?  I recently met up with a friend who knows how to shop!  Who, you ask?  Why, my Twitter, blogging buddy, and the best jewelry designer ever… Sueanne Shirzay!

I have wanted to meet this delightful lady in person for the longest time.  Recently, our schedules allowed us to get together for brunching, gabbing, and some Christmas shopping.  We truly were shopping for others…it wasn’t our fault those items for us jumped into shopping bags and followed us to the car.

There aren’t very many people I would drive several hours through a monsoon for.  And, while I rarely do promos on my blog, I’m making an exception here to showcase my friend.  I highly recommend her jewelry and have bought a few pieces myself, have a jewelry box designated just for Sueanne Shirzay pieces. Really.  With Christmas coming up soon, what fashionista doesn’t want jewelry?? This year don’t deck the halls, deck out your special lady in a design by Sueanne.

Here…see for yourself!  Oh, Sue?  mwah!!!

Residing on the south shore of Long Island for the past 23 years, Sueanne Shirzay’s love for color and jewelry led her to found  Sueanne Shirzay Jewelry, an artisan company in 2008. In July of 2011, Sueanne introduced What We Did 4 Love, an artisan boutique benefitting the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 10% of each purchase goes to the hotline and features jewelry, soap, bags, and art. Sueanne serves on the board of Social Media Club Long Island, is a contributor for Herald de Paris and writes three blogs. Killer Social, Does This Look Good On Me? and Yeah, that’s Random. Her business facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sueanne-Shirzay-Artisan-Jewelry/85742938299 and her Google Plus Business page is https://plus.google.com/113882616122483863897/posts . Sueanne is also a Social Media Consultant with her company, Killer Social. http://killersocial.com

Let’s see…earrings, necklace, bracelet…what to choose, what to choose…sigh…

Fall Fashion Fail

 

Went to the mall yesterday.  After losing so much weight, I’m a little low on clothing.  Not wanting to spend the national budget, I searched for bargains as many of the major department stores are having sales. 

Laden with leaflets, coupons, special discount cards, brochures, etc. I headed into the mall and started looking.  It was a disaster.  It has simply been so long since I cared what I wore (read: back when I worked) that I have no clue what I should look for. 

Last week, I managed to snag a nice pair of black trousers and two lightweight twin-set type cardigan sweaters.  I have two skirts, several blouses, and one pair of black jeans.  But that’s just not going to get me through.  I need at least two more pair of trousers, another pair of jeans, a couple of pull-over sweaters, something in basic black in case somebody dies, (hey it happens) and a winter coat.  That’s not even considering shoes.  Did you know you lose weight in your feet???  I did.

Shopping has become very frustrating suddenly.  The only item I am confident in purchasing is handbags and I have entirely too many of them already.  As for the shoe issue, I read in the paper this morning that boots are in fashion this fall – but have you seen the heels on those puppies???  Yikes, I already broke my back…I don’t need to break a hip from stiletto-heeled boots.  

At the opposite end of the boot spectrum are the ubiquitous Uggs.  Ugh to the Uggs.  I know…I know…the world has already tweeted me that they are the most comfortable shoe/boot thingies in the world.  They’re also about $140. a pair.  Ouch.  What really caught my attention (speaking of Uggs) was how designers are getting into the Ugg craze.  I saw in the paper this morning that Jimmy Choo has come out with a studded pair and they cost more than the current value of my house.  I wondered if he (and I assume, not being fashion conscious, that Jimmy Choo is a “he”) was going to add his name or brand in any way to the Uggs — he could call them Juggs.  No, maybe that’s not such a good idea.   Perhaps I should look for some nice clogs instead. 

Coats – what’s in style?  I saw in a magazine that purple will be in for the next few years.  Oh for the love of Pete — I abhor purple and it will be a cold day in you-kn0w-where before I pay big bucks for a purple coat.  I like my coats to be dark brown, navy blue, or black because that goes with everything.  Maybe I’ll just borrow Devoted Spouse’s old Camo Field Jacket (it only dates back to the VietNam war) and be done with it. 

Now I realize I should have paid more attention in Home Economics class — that pesky sewing stuff would come in handy…sigh…

Must be Karma, Baby

I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow.  What goes around comes around.  Good always triumphs over evil.  The guys in the white hats always win the gunfight.  The guys in red shirts on Star Trek always get vaporized.  I think you see where I’m going with this.

The other day Devoted Spouse spent most of his day in service to God — he painted several rooms of our new church building.  I’m always proud and happy when he volunteers at the church; it’s a good thing.  But sometimes I get a little annoyed that he is so quick to help out the church….when there are chores and projects to be tackled here at home.  (Look out — lightning bolt comin’ my way!)

After painting all day, he was tired.  He deserved some rest so I didn’t nag him and as I recall I even made a nice supper for the man.  He was hunkered down  in his disgusting   dog-drool-stained   I hate it so much I want to toss it out the window  favorite comfy recliner chair when he had to get up for one reason or another.  As he got up, his hamstring blew — he got a leg cramp to end all leg cramps and couldn’t get it to stop.  What did I do to help?  I giggled.  I know – it was a “you’re goin’ to hell” type of moment because the way he was dancin’ around…all I could do was laugh.  I tried not to laugh outloud and I tried very hard to sympathise with him.  I knew he was in pain. I even rubbed his leg for him and felt how tight that poor muscle was.  It had to hurt.  But it was funny.  We’ve all been there with charley-horses, etc.  They hurt like the dickens but the dance you do is funny.

Divine retribution.  That’s something else I believe in.

Sunday afternoon I was trying in vain to squeeze my newly sized 10 butt  into a pair of size 8 jeans in hopes of stretching them out enough to actually wear them without my lungs bursting from all the skin forced up towards my not-as-filled-out-as-it-used-to-be-chest.  I did the old ‘suck it waaaay in’ number, got those bad boys buttoned, then fell back onto the bed because all us gals know that’s the true way you get those tight jeans zipped up.  And then it happened.

I got the mother of all hamstring cramps and I couldn’t get up off the bed because I was poured into these flippin’ jeans and I couldn’t breathe, much less move.  Ow…ow…ow…ow.  I finally edged myself off the bed and did the ‘jumping-up-and-down-I’ve-pulled-a-muscle dance around my bedroom for a few moments until the cramp subsided.  I got out of the jeans and threw them across the floor in favor of my comfy yoga pants.

The back of my thigh still hurts.  Moral of the story?  God doesn’t like ugly, Linda.  Never laugh at your spouse (at least not where he can see you)….sigh…

What Not to Wear…Really

pic courtesy of failblog.org

I fully realize half our summer is gone but I cannot hold my tongue any longer.  Now I’m no fashion maven — I normally leave that to others more savvy than I (think:  What Not to Wear).  But, ladies, come on — stop with the short shorts after you hit your 40′s please.

While strolling through Le Tarzhay the other day my eyes started burning and I felt stabbing pains sear through my brain as I was faced (literally) with a woman who had the most gawdawful outfit on I have ever seen.  I kid you not – this broad had to be in her 50′s, with pancake makeup (and it was a HOT day) all tarted up in one of those tie-around-the-neck and tie-around-the-midriff  halter top (I haven’t even SEEN any of those lately) with…wait for it…SEQUINS (shades of infomercial for the machine that will help you put rhinestones and sequins on all your clothing).  SEQUINS – the woman was wearing a sequined halter and yes…she had batwing arms just flyin’ around like nobody’s business.  What was that sound?  Oh yeah…the sound of rubber being laid down on the floor as I screeched the wheels of my cart to a total halt.

But worse still she had on short shorts (Daisy Dukes for cryin out loud) and high heels.  I actually stopped (I’m just slightly ashamed of my behavior – just slightly mind you)  and stand there in shock.  She had obviously dyed (coz it was very dark) black hair and it was long and Farrah Fawcettish. 

It occured to me I should get in touch with Gen Petraus because this lady could possibly be our latest weapon.  Since the Taliban doesn’t “see” women (hello Burqa?) we could just pitch this broad out in the open.  Those rebel nasties would be so shocked to see what a “real” (you can laugh here) woman looks like, they would gladly lay down their weapons and surrender (repeat after me….Shock and Awe).

This poor woman had cellulite growing on her cellulite and those poor thighs were chafing with each step as she sashayed down the aisles (oh yeah, I found her in the makeup section).  Bless her little heart I think she actually thought she looked good.  I wanted to grab her and drag her to the ladies room and have “the chat.”  Then I simply said a little prayer – Lord let this woman have a good day coz I think she needs it.

Please ladies — look in the mirror before you leave the house even if you’re only going to Le Tarzhay – look hard in that mirror.  And if the bottom of your drooping butt is visible under those shorts – please do the rest of us a favor and send those shorts directly to Goodwill. 

This has been a Public Service Announcement….sigh…

I Love Special Offers…

 

pic courtesy of http://thealexanderreport.com/page/2/

The article says there is a place online where you can go, put in your measurements, and a group of fashion-savvy sophisticated ladies will tell you exactly what looks good on your type of body.  Did you know there are actually 7 body types?  Coulda fooled me.  Anyway, then of course you shop for those particular types of clothes right there at their store.  Is that handy or what?  A personal shopper right online and all the fabulous fashions a gal could want.

I’m not kidding.  The sight is MyShape.com and they’ll walk you through it.  Back to body shapes — none of this pear, or apple nonsense on this sight – they call their shapes M, S, Y, A, etc.  What they stand for is anybody’s guess – but it’s really nice to say “your body shape is a Y” as opposed to “you have the outlines and curves of a humpback whale.”  Works for me.

They go on about how no two people are shaped alike…reminds me of the snowflake thing – but snowflakes don’t need clothes.

So like the kid with the “kick me” sign….I got out the tape measure and measured and put in the measurements to see what they came up with for my new wardrobe.

I was waiting for the phrase “extra fabric required” or “tent maker” to pop up, but I was pleasantly surprised that I’m not that abnormal after all – especially now that I’ve dropped 20 pounds.  In fact, they had some rather cool stuff and I just might have to break out the old Discover card today and do a little shopping.  Even though I’d like to drop a few more pounds, a gal HAS to have something fabulous to wear in the meantime.

After all I certainly can’t be seen in Sueanne’s lovely jewelry carrying Sue’s fabulous bags if my clothes are hanging off me, now can I? 

So ladies – go check this out, it’s pretty cool. www.MyShape.com

There goes the profit from selling the motorcycle….sigh.