Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Dear Faithful Readers:

I’m giving Crone and Bear It a break.  That’s not to say I’ll never post here again.  I’ve learned to never say never.

In the meantime, I’ve embarked on a new blogging journey.  Please come see my new endeavor She’s A Pretty Good Christian.

You’ll find me at http://shesaprettygoodchristian.com  Never fear, my humor has not left me.

Oh yeah, EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer will be a part of the new blog, no doubt.  See ya over there.

Love,

Linda and

The Attack of the 80 Foot Gallbladder

pic from National Archives

I was enjoying a lovely breakfast of pancakes and bacon at my local Bob Evans when I realized I wasn’t really hungry.  Leaving half my food on the plate, I left and went about my day.  Errands, errands, ooh ice cream, errands, come home & read a book.  Pretty normal day for me (minus the ice cream).

We had a guest in the house; a guest who was like family, but a guest nonetheless.  I started feeling rather wonky around suppertime.  Wonky as in “If I inhale many more food fumes I will hurl.”  I made dinner for Devoted Spouse and our guest and retired to the bedroom to rest.

I thought a nice tv show might get my mind off my queasy tummy.  Turning on the tv, I landed on the Food Channel and promptly ran to the bathroom to hurl.  By that time I was pretty sure something was amiss.  The guest and Devoted Spouse were still enjoying their dinner, grrr.

A little voice told me, change your clothes…put on clean underwear…brush your teeth and do something with your hair.  I think it’s a girl thing.  A stupid girl thing because by that time I was all sweaty and there was no chance of doing anything with my hair.  sigh

At 10:00 that night, I walked into the kitchen all hunched over and looking a lovely shade of grey (no…not Fifty Shades…) to the horror of our guest and managed to scare the puddin’ outta Devoted Spouse.  I announced, “Hospital, now!”  The guest was concerned, Devoted Spouse was very concerned (and looking for car keys) and I was searching for a knife large enough to cut out Freddie Kruger (who I was sure was living in my belly).  It was not pretty.

Almost six days later I had been in two different hospitals, been sedated for a gnarly test involving tubes down one’s throat into the gallbladder (ack ack) and had a virtual munchkin stranger suck out one of my major organs leaving me with four rather painful holes and something disgusting hanging out of me called a drain.  (oh ack squared) (you may hurl now).

So that’s what I did on MY summer vacation kids. Even if you desperately wish to lose weight (I’m down 20 lbs now) I suggest you not try this.  It’s right up there with abscessed teeth…or maybe being run over by a truck.  Yes, the bills are arriving daily.  We’re over $22,000 at present.  Didja miss me?  sigh…

I Feel the Need to Post But I Got Nothin’ But a Dog and a Crutch

I feel compelled to post something for Thursday – I’m not doing the theme thing this week – forgot to sign up.  Yeah, it’s been that kind of week – I think the appropriate word is scatterbrained.

May just be that I have cabin fever from all the bad weather.  Although I did venture out into the frozen tundra today and it wasn’t bad – the worst part was my neighborhood.

Last night a Good Neighbor fired up his Super SnowBlower Deluxe Extreme for Big Kids and blew out a path around our mailbox (and that of the guy across the street) so the mailman (who I don’t like but that’s another story) could drive his funky little mailtruck close enough to actually get the mail into our mailbox.  What a nice gesture – I called the Good Neighbor’s wife and said thank you and now I feel obligated to make something to take over there – but she’s the Housewife we all love to hate – she cleans, she bakes, she goes to the Wives Club meetings, she plants flowers that live  – and I love her dearly, but anything I make will be substandard and no doubt dumped in the trash.  I’m going to do it anyway as a gesture of neighborliness.  I know what!!! — I’ll make some greeting cards for her – I bet she doesn’t do stamping (although she does a lot of sewing) – I’ll think of something.

Anyway life here is relatively quiet.  I have nothing very funny to report except the way Bob Costas looks at the Olympics – what’s up with his eyes and his hair?  He can’t seem to move his face – I think the doc tightened up the skin just a tad too much perhaps.  And his hair was black and is slowly lightening up each time I see him.  Is the dye washing out ya think?  I got a little perturbed at some of his comments, too – he seemed to make a big deal of what other people were wearing — hello, Bob?  Look at yourself first.

Nothing new on the EmmaLou front – she’s relatively quiet and being good and that in itself is a little frightening.  Sort of like waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Or paw in her case.

I’m still working on my collage challenge -hopefully I should finish Thursday coz I’m about ModPodged out.  I was standing in the kitchen the other night with Devoted Spouse and I had dried ModPodge all over my hands and I started screaming about the blister on my finger and right in front of him I grabbed the skin (it was ModPodge) and started peeling it off and yelling and it totally grossed him out.  I felt like I was about 8 years old and I liked it.

Speaking of DS he just brought me an English Muffin with cherry preserves on it.  Whatta guy!  I attended a class at church tonight and came home hungry – part of the problem is today is the first day of Lent and for Lent I have given up chocolate candy/cookies (coz I do that every year) and this year I have added something that will be difficult for me (because I think that’s the point) and that is I am giving up red meat for the next 40 days – yup – the carnivore is gonna do without red meat.  Now I’ll be happy to report occasionally on how that’s working for me, but there is a distinct possibility you may figure it out by the tone of my upcoming postings.

Do you read blogs based on categories?  I don’t but I bet others do.  So for this post I think I’ll pick some weird categories just to see if I get anyone different and they read something they don’t expect.  I’m really bored.

That’s it for me kids.  I’ll try and be funnier later.  For now I’m gonna go back to making fun of Bob Costas.