The Pain of Passwords

courtesy of hdsoft.org

Are you like me and have just had it up to there with passwords?  I tried to access a site earlier and couldn’t remember my password.  Thirty minutes later, numerous screens, error messages, and two emails, I still don’t know the password.  That’s 30 minutes of my life I could have spent doing my cardio work-out.  (insert hysterical laughter here)

When I worked in a cubicle farm, a majority of us would stash our computer passwords under our keyboards.  We all knew each other did this, but nobody said anything because, of course, it was not an allowed practice.  But it was easy to remember.  And, that’s the problem with passwords — only a 12-yr old can remember any of them.

I tried using the same password for everything.  That fell apart when some jerk hacked an email account.  I got the notification, panicked, and realized I had 70 hundred thousand million passwords to generate.  And they all had to be different.  And I had to have them in my head and be able to retrieve them.  Oh my.  This would never work.

I got the bright idea of jotting down passwords in a small notebook.  That failed when the notebook fell on the family room floor somehow and EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer, had a midnight snack.  Ack.

Next, I decided to embed passwords into phone numbers.  Disaster!  I couldn’t remember which part of the phone number was the password, or if the phone number was a real one, and ended up phoning some rather angry people.

I had heard about smart phone aps that took care of passwords.  I quickly downloaded the latest ap.  I loaded all my passwords into it, then gave it a password.  Guess what I forgot?  The password to access my passwords.

I created an Excel spreadsheet and put all my passwords there.  Then I thought it would be a good idea to print it out, so if I died unexpectedly (like from a password event-generated stroke), Devoted Spouse would be able to get into all my records online.  But the spreadsheet was too big for my printer paper.  I had to scotch-tape the printed pages together.  It turned into such a mess, I shredded everything and opened a bottle of wine.

There seems to be no easy solution to this.  I have a copy of the spreadsheet that wasn’t taped together. I threw it in a file folder to deal with later.  I just don’t remember what I did with that folder…sigh…

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9 thoughts on “The Pain of Passwords

  1. thank god! I thought it was just me!! add to that phoning up your bank or your phone company and they want thier own code. It drives me nuts!!!!!!
    you are so not alone! I didn’t even tackle the subject of online banking and their password layers. It all gives me a headache. Thanks for visiting! :)

  2. Someone had to write about it! I am so frustrated with passwords it isn’t funny. Either I can remember the password and have forgotten the user name or vice versa. lol I am constantly having to wait for or email or check out as a visitor, typing all my info again for the 400th time! I have a spot where I bang my head against the wall, I shall try a bottle of wine instead. Take care Sue
    Hi Sue! Apparently, I’ve hit a sore spot on this one LOL – I loathe passwords. Lately, I loathe technology, but I’m hooked on it too so it’s no win. Nice to see ya – miss ya. {Hugs}

  3. Something our parents never had to worry about. Ah, the good old days……
    I remember getting my very first PIN number and thinking how would I ever remember it. Oh for those days again.

  4. I have all my passwords, 10 thousand jillion of them, written down in a little notebook. I refer to that little notebook roughly 17.2 times a day because every single ding dang website seems to require a password that contains Upper case letters, lower case letters, numbers AND characters but the numbers, characters and lower case letters must not be used subsequently unless it’s during a stampede of baby zebras during a full moon.

    I did create a Google Doc of all my 10 thousand jillion passwords so that if I ever lose that notebook or I’m somewhere with internet access but no little notebook, I can retrieve my 10 thousand jillion passwords and the only password I have to remember is the one for my Google account. Which is written somewhere in my little notebook.
    frankly I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking I need to get another notebook and not only put down my passwords but also all my contact info from my smart phone coz it’s been acting wonky lately and there’s no way to recover some of that stuff. Like my hundreds of photos of EmmaLou, Golden Destroyer. ack. Can’t remember password to get into that part of my phone. I give up.

  5. Girl, I can so relate! I hope you will never die from a password event-generated stroke (LMAO). I have all my stupid passwords and usernames locked up somewhere on my iphone. I use it all the time. SMH
    And at work we are forced to changed our email password every 90 days.
    So good to see you back in BloggerLand. Love you. x
    Hey Sistah Girlfriend I’m still trying to decide which ap I want to use – these passwords are driving me insane. Good to be back both in BloggerLand and on Twittah! xoxo Love you back!

  6. I’m glad to read your article and reader replies. I work for a software company currently
    beta launching its voice biometric password bank (storage) system.
    It is free to download from the company website and designed to be both user friendly and secure.
    We like to say, “Your own voice is the only password you will need to remember.”
    :)

  7. Yeh, but that voice-biometric business can be put out of business by anything that changes a voice, such as (1) screaming at the neighbor kids for the gazillionth time to get off the &$*% lawn and out of the flower beds, (2) finally agreeing to go to a party and getting tempted into drinking Scotch while you breathe in second-hand smoke or (3) bronchitis and laryngitis.

    No, I’m old school on this one. I made TWO notebooks, and put one in the safe deposit box at the bank. I’ve never lost that key, and the bank’s only two blocks away. Of course, I don’t have that many passwords – maybe three dozen – and I don’t change them as often as I should.

    One thing I do need to do is dump various apps and programs that I don’t use any more, and send their passwords packing!
    WOW – I love your idea – 2 notebooks and one in the safe deposit – crap why didn’t I think of this? Thanks! :)

  8. You are right. The voice is subject to many invisible factors and some very visible-Scotch, screaming at kids, and second hand smoke that can and do impact attemtps to authenticate. A user’s prerecorded voice, as a result, may not match their voice during log in. However, voice biometric is not a new idea. It’s has been tested over and over again to identify the most durable parameters to record, a few of which manage to endure the elements.
    hi – pls don’t use my blog to answer perceived questions – contact the writer of the comment directly. Thanks! :)

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