I enjoy getting Christmas cards in the mail. I gave up on sending out Christmas cards several years ago. Too much time involved and it’s certainly gotten too expensive. Now only a couple of special friends are sent cards.
I’m proud to say I have never sent a holiday letter – you know those gawdawful newsletters you receive from people you hardly know telling you everything they did for the past year? Hate them. Truly hate them!!! But just for grins, I wrote one this year that I would love to send out…
Dear (insert name here)
Dangitall, can you believe it’s the holidays again? Seems like we jest done this, huh? Ha-ha. Here’s what the Jester family has been up to since our last letter.
Last January, Hubby Jester got laid off at the fat-rendering plant. He was so close to retirement it purt near kilt us to give up them good benefits and such. But he got to take home a mess a pork bellies and we were plum grateful.
In March, me and Hubby Jester plus our kids, Chester, and Esther Jester went to see Hubby’s Cousins Betty and her Brother Bob down at the holler. They got a mess a youngins and our kids all have such a good time together. Chester is getting so big; he was able to help out Cousin Bob back at the still and whooieee those days just flew by.
May was kinda quiet and Mama was ailin’. She took a spill on the ice and broke her hip awhile back. It’s hard for her to get around on her other wooden leg so’s we try to help her where we can. I got a nice old rocking chair in the back room by the wood burning stove and most days I just park Mama there in that chair but not too close to the fire ya know. That old chair used to rock till Chester used one of the rails for Mama’s replacement leg. She’s gettin’ up there in years and we figger she’ll have to go to the home soon.
In August we had us a wedding! My sis, Nestor, married Hubby’s brother Lester Jester and we had such a good time. They really put on a feast! There were hot dogs and pigs feet and beans, and a big old ice cream wedding cake – - mmm-mmmm! Ain’t we blessed?
In October our big old boy Chester had his 12th birthday. We’re so proud of him we could bust. We woulda had a party, but with Hubby Jester not working we jest had some grilled cheese sandwiches and I got a day-old cake for Chester. Shoot, he was in hog heaven!
In November we got an addition to the family! A puppy!! Hubby Jester had been out huntin’ and this cute little scraggly thing jest followed him home and we kept him. He’s got big brown eyes and big old paws and Hubby named him Fester. Seems he’s already got a taste for rodents, so we won’t have to be buying much dog food thankfully!
So that brings us to now in December- Mama fell again and we found her a few days too late to do sumthin about it. Guess she won’t be having to go to no home now. The good part is Chester was able to re-use that wooden leg and fix the rocker. That boy of mine!
Oh I almost forgot!! Our pride and joy, Esther is gonna be a mama soon herself! She’s done with the 10th grade and ya’ll know it’s never too soon to start poppin’ out those lil’ ones! That scamp, she’s just like her ma!
Merry Christmas from your friends,
Ma, Hubby, Esther, Chester, and Fester Jester