Suddenly there are a million birds living in my back yard. I know this because they woke me up this morning before 5:30. Now, I don’t want to complain too much because the lovely songs of birds are infinitely sweeter than the sound of an angry winter wind howling, but come on, it’s 5:30 in the morning. Pipe down and let me sleep for 10 more minutes. No such luck.
I stumbled downstairs and made coffee. Looking out my kitchen window, it’s dark. It’s darker than dark. It’s 5:35 in the morning. The birds have ratcheted the decibel level up a notch. It’s nonstop chatter out in the backyard. And it’s making me cranky.
I’m not a morning person. Devoted Spouse will attest to that. In fact, many’s the day when he casually asked me something in the a.m. only to discover later in the p.m. that I had absolutely no recollection of the conversation. It’s best to remain somewhat quiet while I navigate through my brain fog and absorb copious amounts of caffeine. After a couple of hours I’m somewhat communicative, but I would never use the term “chatty” to describe me in the morning. These birds are chatty. Images of bird duct tape cross my mind. It’s soooooo early.
My mind wanders while the coffee brews. What the heck is so important in bird land that they have to jabber on about it hour after hour prior to sun rise? Is it a case of “I’m up and everybody else should be up, too?” Or are they announcing the latest additions to their little bird families? What can they possibly be discussing? Are they unhappy with my bird feeder? Is the neighbor’s mangy cat roaming in my yard again? Are they having a bird book club meeting? What? What? Maybe they have the same affliction as EmmaLou, the Golden Destroyer. She wakes up every morning with an unbridled joy at greeting the day and me. It’s as if she has short term memory loss and has forgotten how good it is to see me. Maybe the birds feel the same way and can’t shut up about what a glorious day it is and how happy they are to be alive. Or maybe birds can’t see in the dark and the singing is some type of bird sonar so they can all locate one another.
Wait a minute…what’s that sound? There is no sound. The birds are quiet. Maybe the sparrows flew off to meet up at McDonald’s and the robins are congregating at Starbucks. Hmmmm…a left-wing conspiracy perhaps?